Last Friday was hot, very hot….the mercury on the phone told me it was 36c but as we all know in the real world that if you actually go out into the sunshine then it will be a tad warmer and it was. On a Friday if I have nothing to do I really need to get away from the chaos of the city, the Spitters, the Belchers, the Farters….yes the Farters, the people that talk too loud and everybody else that gets on me tits and I really don’t have enough patience to list everybody. But anyway my escape route goes like this. After lunch in my favourite ethnic (Muslim) restaurant I get the number 4 bus to Tianpingshan and get off at the terminus. I took two bottles of water with me and some small snacks but I had been fuelled by my ethnic friends and so I felt I had enough fuel for the journey. The bus journey takes an hour and sometimes it can be ok but not today, all the people I was trying to escape from came along for the ride.

It was hot as I got off the bus, it was 12.20pm and so it was really a stupid time of the day to go oot but I’m thinking that it will be quiet…………….no other stupid bugger will be out here, but I was wrong. I tried a new path that I had found a few weeks ago and followed it to see where it would go. I had an idea that it was going to take me to the top but I did not realise just how steep the climb was, it was great. The path started on an easy gradient and then I was soon climbing over rocks and the terrain was becoming more challenging which was great. One section had a rope dangling down over the very steep rock face and so I climbed up there with ease. In the beginning I’m in shade and I could lose the hat but as I climbed more and more I had no choice but to put it on and the sweat was beginning to pour off me. I stopped to wipe me broo and caught the sweat just before it rolled into my eyes and then fended off the mosquitoes. One good thing about the sunshine is that the mosquitoes are smarter than me and don’t go out in it. I soon reached the top and I felt pretty pleased with myself. I had a quick look around and then began my descent to the bottom again, which you have to do to continue the walk. I took my time and wandered off other paths along the way to see if they had potential before doubling back to get back on track.

A few weeks before I had stopped at the small makeshift restaurant for spicy noodles and the old lady told me to have a rest because it was so hot, but I thanked here and carried on. The next part is really quite steep and underfoot is very slippy due to the small gravel that is everywhere. I got about half way up this totally exposed part of the hill and had to take a seat beneath the only tree. I sat there feeling absolutely shagged out. I took my hat off and drank water. I was beginning to overheat just like my old car does when I take it up Cunninghams Gap. The temperature rises quite high, but as soon as I reach the top she can breathe again and catch her breath and get the wind in her grills and she is fine. So this is me, same as the old Ford, temperature rising and not a breathe of wind anywhere.

Time to go and I hear some voices and I see a family inching their way down the path with their son, so I wait till they reach me before continuing up…………………..it’s what you do, give way to others. Mind you I expect a nod of the head, maybe a xie xie (thank you) but no nothing…Fuck all………..they just stare and say foreigner and carry on. Now they are not the only people to do this. They all seem to be smart enough to notice that I am indeed a foreigner in their land; however they seem to have no fuckin courtesy, or have any idea why the crazy old foreigner is waiting for them to descend to safer ground. This concept of giving way to others is just not understood here and they also oblivious to potential dangers for both them and others whilst hiking. But this is the normal behaviour of the Chinese, just keep on pushing on and only think of number one, no one else matters………….I’m all right Jack.

I got to the top of that hill and had to pull over once more to a layby and rest, only about 5 mins had passed I think but the temperature had risen once more. I sat in a rest area under a shade cloth, on a piece of wood and as I sat there drinking my water I looked around at the rubbish that has been abandoned here. You name it, it’s here. In fact all along the path today there has been empty water bottles and tissues, it’s fucking terrible. I know I go on about this but I hate it.

One more hill to climb after this small descent and then I’m at the top of Lingyenshan and near to the temple and its all downhill from here. But this bit can also be difficult if your legs are weary, because there are hundreds of steps to go down.

The bus ride home is fine, although I feel that I’m sitting in a puddle of sweat. Everything is wet and I’m sure there must have been a bit of a tangy smell by this stage. But I got back home and in one piece although feeling absolutely knackered.

Next morning when I woke up I felt that I had been hit by a bus; I was as flat as my phone that I forgot to put on charge. After breakfast it was back to bed for a siesta till lunch. After lunch I had coffee with a friend and then home for an early night.

Sunday I felt a bit better but the rain was on and it was pissing down and so it is the perfect excuse for not doing anything and so that is exactly what I did.

So today is Monday and I’m feeling nearly recharged. After breakfast I went to the park to do some exercise, something that I just could not do the last two days. It began to rain but only a light shower. The rain is supposed to clear today and then fine for the rest of the week and so I decide to go for another walk at Tianpingshan because I have a busy week and I’m not sure when I’ll get back out there again. Roadworks on the way make the journey a bit longer than usual and the driver was getting frustrated, but we get there eventually. Today is a lot cooler because it’s overcast and the rain is still hanging around, it’s a lot more pleasant than Friday and a lot better for walking. I took a different path this time which began to climb quickly and as I walked along the path I can see the mini gouges, ruts and valleys traced along the forest trail where the night before it would have resembled a river. This path is not bad and does not seem to be well used like the others I been on before. Again I come across large rocks and some of them have ropes set up and so I can pull myself up. My shoes slip on the rocks, but they are very sure on the trail. The path follows one of the ridges I have seen from my previous walks and is quite good. I can see the other path but there is no one on it. The path leads me to cliff edges and narrow paths and we still see to be climbing. All of a sudden I turn a corner and I can hear voices and then the next thing I know I’m at one of the mini shops that has been set up here on the hill and so I am in familiar territory. When I got to this point the other day I certainly didn’t feel as good.

And so I join the normal trail over the mountain and one thing that is apparent is that the track is a lot cleaner, not so much rubbish and I think this is due to the rain that we had. The rain was torrential and so it will have washed the debris into the bushes and further down the hill out of sight, but there was still enough hanging around to annoy me. The trail was washed out in places and the ruts had grown into canyons.

I reached the bottom of the last hill which leads up to the temple but instead of going there I fling a left and head down to another trail and back to Tianpingshan, it’s quieter there and I think this small walk that I have done is enough…………..I don’t want to overdo it again. I don’t have to wait long for the bus and I sit up at the back and then begin to freeze because the air-conditioning is too cold. Luckily I have me jacket and I can sit back, tune into radio 4 via the bus WiFi and listen to the Brexit troubles or to the bumbling of Trump as we make our way back to civilisation.

I went to Dayangshan last week but was unsuccessful in finding the path to the top of the mountain, but today with some good directions I managed to find the path to the top of the hill and so I went for a stroll across the spine of the mountain. It was around 8 km’s all tolled and most of it was easy, but the climb to the top of the first hill was very steep and I must admit my heart rate was at maximum and the lungs were gasping for air. I had to stop to catch my breath and to be honest I lost my breath before the strength but then again if you can not breathe you are pretty well screwed.

I reached the top quite quickly and stopped only briefly to take a few snaps and then I continued down the very nice flight of stairs and then on to the road that runs along the spine of the mountain. Along the way you will come across a very nice tea house with commanding views, well the views are not really that good but you can see for miles if there was no pollution.

I enjoyed the walk here today I guess because it was my first time here but it is not an interesting walk mainly because much of it was on the road, but if I can find a path through the forest then that will be more of an adventure. It’s also a little bit far and I think next time I go for a walk in the mountain I’ll go back to Lingyenshan because the terrain is more interesting and the walk is more challenging too, plus the fact that it is less than an hour from home.

The last few days have been a bit strange, it feels like I have a weight around my body and it is slowing me down and I just can’t seem to find my way out of the a quagmire……..but there is no obvious reason to feel this way……..mind you the weather has been crap the last few days and it’s been pissing down and I think it is affecting my mood some how.

So today I got up and had breakfast and once more met another new guest that is staying at our Airbnb house and to be honest with you I think that this is part of the problem. I’m getting sick of seeing these different folk come through our house, as I’ve said before some are good, in fact most are good but there are a few fuckwits that just want to make you throw them over the balcony.

So I think a change is in order, the current accommodation, although comfortable and a great location might need to be changed. So after the park I went for a shower and had a shave and then when I was all squeaky clean I went out and about and went for lunch and after lunch I needed to do a bit of shopping.

On the way to the market a guy stopped to ask me for directions and then he said “oh sorry I didn’t realise you were a foreigner” I said no problem and I then gave him directions to the supermarket. My good deed for the day. A minute later I’m just about to cross the road and as I walked under the tree on the corner something large and wet hit me on the head. I looked to the ground and down my front and on my jeans there was a rather large bird shit, what a fuckin’ mess…………what had this bird been eating………why was there a bird in the tree in the first place because in Suzhou this is quite a rare sight. Wildlife is not common here and so I was really shocked when I got smacked by this absolutely massive shit. Thankfully I had a hat on because it would have made a hell of a mess and it would have been quite disgusting if I had to scrape it off me nut even although it was all nice and shiny after shaving it this morning.

Now I’m paranoid that I might have shit down my back and so I tried to take a few pictures of myself to see if there was any shit I may have missed. I had tissues and wet wipes thankfully in my bag which was miraculously clean. The front of my shirt and my left thigh are covered in muck and as I tried to clean it, it just spread into the jeans and looked even worse.

I was starving and so I decided to go to the restaurant anyway and then go home because my stomach felt like my throat had been cut and so I did go and had my favourite potato and beef and then I headed home.

As soon as I got home I stripped off me gear and stuck it into the washing machine and made sure there was not any little bits of shit that I had missed and then sat down for a delicious cup of coffee. And so they do say it is lucky to get hit by bird shit and so I hope that there is some good news on the horizon or maybe some new opportunities coming my way…………….but I should just add that this bird must have been massive or it had a bad case of the runs………….

I had a very different iced coffee the other day when I was with my friend Chynna,…….I don’t normally have milk but it was a very different experience to have ice cube coffee and so you pour the hot milk over the cubes and enjoy. Not something I would rush back to have  to in a hurry but every so often would be acceptable………..

Iced Coffee

It was just a quiet drink,

That’s what we said,

And before you know it,

My wallet’s dead,

A collection of glasses,

The proof of the night,

Am no looking forward to the morn,

‘Cause right now I feel like shite,

When I surface, the sun is up,

Scratching my een,

I’m scared to move,

The lump in my throat so far unseen,

One helluva drooth,

The body aches,

My heid is nippin’,

Fuck’s sake,

The alcohol, the Trojan horse,

Creator of so much discourse,

My world is spinning,

Vertigo abounds,

Stomach heaves and hits the ground,

I remember that curry,

Gees it back,

Gees some Bru,

To ease the fact,

The cure of all cures,

This sacred drink,

I need another slug ah canny think,

Ach that’s better, I feel brand new,

A greasy breakfast and then off to the loo,

Getting blootered is way more fun,

But in the morn you see the sun,

Jesus Christ just give me a break,

I’ll no do it again, please for fuck’s sake,

I promise I’ll drink water or lemon and lime,

Or Angostura bitters will do just fine,

Nae mair booze, fur me that’s it,

I’m too old for this game am a drunkin’ git,

Hanging off the bar, just like big Ian before,

Waffling on every night, what a fuckin’ bore,

It’s time to quit; I can do this now,

I have the will power; I’ll show you how,

A month has passed I’ve lost 5 kilo,

My wallet is happy and I feel more mellow,

I even can remember what I did last night,

A novelty you know, the booze is a blight,

But I enjoyed it at the time, but those days are gone,

So now I can laugh at others while I stay strong,

And so it’s been nearly two weeks and the VPN issue is still an issue. I’ve sent numerous emails to the software manufacturer but maybe they are not getting them or they just don’t care, either way it is a bloody inconvenience. Has anybody out there used Bing, Microsoft’s poor excuse for a search engine………I think I still prefer Alta Vista………..is it still around?

Altavista

I sometimes will use Yahoo, but even that is becoming harder to contact, the noose around the country is tightening slowly day by day and the information and options are becoming less. I like to be connected to the outside world; I don’t want to be stuck in this bubble that is China. It’s not so much that I am angered, “Like how dare you China?” it’s just so fucking frustrating when you are trying to do the most simple of tasks or searches to find a simple grammar point to use in a lesson or check what the weather is doing tomorrow or today for that matter. The local search engine “Baidu” is basically useless, unless you are searching local content and there is not much local content that I wish to search for. Both phones run a lot slower here as I’ve mentioned before. When you get outside of China it feels like you have the full use of your body again, inside the firewall we are all handicapped and fed a diet of Soylent Green direct from the massive propaganda machine.. There are many things I enjoy about China, I do like living here but this is way more annoying than having a mosquito in your room.

At the end of the year or the beginning of next year I will go back to the UK briefly and see what the wind brings. I might apply for another visa for here or what I would really like to do would be to spend some time in the UK, but then it comes down to money. Maybe I could get some work there but what would I do? Even if I got a job would I be able to live there and pay the bills, I doubt it. After being away for such a long time I think it would be very difficult to step back into a job and a lifestyle in the real world. Before I leave here I wish to travel and look at the more remote places, Gansu province looks fascinating and I would give you pictures but can’t get online. Yunnan and Sichuan are also on the agenda, either way I need to have a change. I enjoy living in the centre of the city for the access to everywhere but I would rather spend more of my time away from the maddening crowds.

Today I am having a quiet day because the body is tired after yesterday’s adventure out at Lingyenshan. My legs are a bit weary and I really just want to stay at home, read my book, write some words on the computer. My flat mate has just come home and she can see that I am working on the computer but that does not stop her from playing her music loud…no…..if I do that I get told off, but then again I don’t do that because I am aware of what she is doing and out of respect I keep quiet. Chinese people are not aware of others most of the time and so they go about their business focused on what they are doing and don’t consider others. You have to guilt them into making them aware, maybe a dirty look, a shake of the head, sometimes I shout “You fucking idiot!” that makes me feel better at least and sometimes they even understand. Thank goodness their English lessons start from such a young age.

I use this behaviour against them sometimes because some days I wake up and I am just a fucking nasty bastard that thinks revenge is on the cards today. When the metro stops you just know that there will be someone waiting to get on that won’t wait for you to get off and so it’s a shoulder charge as I alight. Walking in front of the bikes and cars when I have the green man, although you do have to be a bit more careful when playing this game of chicken. The phone zombie walking down the street that suddenly changes direction and is now on a direct collision course with me, I stay online and wait the outcome. All very childish I know but it makes me feel that I might also be educating each and every one of them if they just take a moment to consider why this crazy old man did what he did. Alas thinking for your self is not really an option for many, they do what they do because this is what they have learned from the previous generation and at school To them this behaviour is perfectly acceptable and they don’t understand what I’m doing either………….but every so often a glimmer of hope in the society emerges and you will see that there are a few that can think for themselves but they keep it hidden and only really reveal themselves when they are with a kindred spirit. But some days they are few and far between. It’s the same with my flat mate, she also has these moments where she can see the effect her behaviour is having and will change but today is not one of those days and so I have come into my room out-of-the-way and locked myself in my cave to get away from the constant level of noise that seems to go with life in China.

This is why I seek out the country side or go to the lakeside to get away from the noise and the chaos, to have a place where my mind can be empty of any other distractions, distractions which I am having less and less tolerance for. And so I guess I’m saying that at the moment China is getting on me tits and maybe it’s time to leave this place for a while and recharge the batteries or maybe I will return to China but to a different location, find pastures new and go exploring in another part of this huge country, after all there is a lot of it to see. But then there is the added challenge of getting settled again which is not something I look forward to. Maybe a long holiday is the best thing for now because it’s not all bad. Maybe they won’t renew my visa.

Mind you today the pollution is high and although it’s great that I don’t have to wear sunscreen because it’s blocking the UV, I think my lungs are protesting a little due to the amount of sputum I’m bringing up. So China has many challenges and today I feel that they are all coming to me at once and when you put them all together it makes me question why I am here.