At the end of 2019, I booked my flight to Egypt via Chengdu and had organised the trains and accommodation for Huashan so that I could do the plank walk. This is where you hang off the mountain at a great height.

Of course Covid came along and fucked  everything up and it’s only now that I have been able to return and now I’m too old to be allowed to walk the plank. And for the record, I wouldn’t do it now even if you paid me.

I got there at 9am and got to the visitor centre and caught the bus to the West Mountain Cable Car, where you are taken up to about 1700m I think, before you set off and make your way to the North peak and the cable car down.

It took me 5 hours and it’s brutal in places. It’s all steps. You are either going up or down, very little in the way of paths as such. I was surprised at the number of older people there, both men and women and I felt like a boy in comparison. These old buggers were fit, many doing a better job than the younger ones and I mean the youth or 30 somethings.

To make matters worse there were patches of ice, more of which was on the north side and by the time I reached there I was weary and I didn’t feel as if I was in full control of my legs at times. It got a bit wobbly.

I saw an old guy walking towards me and he was carrying two large bottles of water on his back and he had stopped for a breather. I asked him how heavy was the back pack and he said, “50kg” He then told me that he was 60 years old, and he had done this for 20 years. Most days he does this three times to take the water up to one of the restaurant areas. He’s also only got one hand, I was lost for words.

All I could say to him was take care and I headed off holding on to the balustrade thankfully, because my foot slipped on some ice and as I gripped the balustrade I was lucky to not go any further. About 20 minutes from the end of the walk.

I was shattered when I finished and as I sat in the cable car on the way down I just looked at the view and glad that I didn’t have to walk down anymore steps.

I jumped on the shuttle bus which dropped me about 5 minutes from my digs, which was bloody marvellous.

I wish I had been a bit fitter because I struggled a few times, but in the other hand I did manage to walk it and not kill myself. So win win me thinks 😜

Oh, and if you fancy a challenge you will not be disappointed..

An early rise so that I could beat the hordes at breakfast, and it worked. Mind you there were two individuals, a mother and son that were well versed on attacking a buffet first thing.

I got my egg on toast this morning without any hassle and I got a Chinese hamburger, which is pulled meat, possibly lamb, in a bun and it was delicious. I should have gone back for more and taken a doggy bag for my trip, but then it’s just one more thing to carry and my case is big enough.

So I’m in a first class carriage on the cheap train, which is also the slow train. It’s cost me $12 for the 90 min journey to Huashan.

It was cold this morning and so I’m expecting it to be a little bit chillier by the time I reach the mountains. Instead of a flash streamlined train, I am in the old conventional green train which are usually used for the masses because they are so cheap. Mind you I was not brave enough to sit with the locals and so I chose first class. Oh, it’s advertised as having its own toilet which is the hole in the floor, so let’s hope we don’t have to use it 🤔

The train was very comfortable and there were only four folk in the car and so it was very quiet.

I got a taxi from the station to the hotel. It’s a small place that also caters as a tourist information hub, which is great. The young lassie running the place is extremely helpful and although most of the conversations have been in Chinese I’m getting by.

I had lunch, Biang Biang Mian, spicy flat noodle, delicious 😍

I went for a stroll to have a look around and then headed for the nearest shop to buy breakfast. I just can’t eat noodle for breakfast. Bananas and bread fur me and coffee of course.

It’s a pretty backdrop having the mountains behind and there are some autumn colours coming on.

Had an early dinner, Gong Bao Ji Ding, spicy chicken with peanuts and capsicum. It was too big to finish and so I’ll have the leftovers tomorrow for dinner.

I went for a quick stroll to try to flatten my fat stomach, but it was getting chilly.

An early night in preparation for the big climb tomorrow..

I’m currently in Xi’An, and my hotel is classed as a boutique hotel and I booked it because of the location and because it mentioned that many foreigners stayed here. It’s not that I want to see any foreigners or talk with them, that’s the last thing I wish for. However, it does mean that maybe breakfast might be a little bit user friendly in regards to the food on offer. My first hotel was definitely for the domestic clientele, whereas Yichang was just suberb. Hence the reason I chose this place.

This morning I got there a little bit later and just seconds after arriving a tour group of locals appeared and literally swarmed the breakfast bar and before I knew it all the eggs were gone, the fruit was being assaulted and left battered and bruised and all I could do was stand and watch while my coffee trickled into my cup from the machine.

There is absolutely no decorum when “Free Food” is on offer. The bowls were stripped bare and the chaos insued as staff and customers shouted that this was empty and that was empty.

Thankfully I had found my table on the furthest away point before they had descended. Instead of easing into the day you are compelled to get in amongst the melee or you will go with out.

Oh and most of them were wearing their best hiking gear and backpacks, no doubt getting ready for an assault on the nearest shopping mall!

I booked a tour that offered the opportunity to to see two dams and one gorge, it’s somewhat misleading.

I caught the tourist bus at the Yichang Tourist centre, there were three of us plus the tour guide. He communicated with me via Wechat, which was easy enough. It took about an hour to get to the pier for the return journey. We had about two hours to ourselves , but there was nothing to see and no where to go.

It turns out that we saw our  first dam as we crossed the bridge to the pier, this was as close as we were going to get. I was like, “What the Fuck!” The only reason I booked this tour was to see the big Dam.

My nightmares were becoming reality and very quickly. On the boat, if you wanted the top deck then you had to pay, the next deck was cheaper and then the outside deck was free. I was not going to pay nearly twice as much again for the top deck, so I was with the peasants and I don’t use that word loosely. The boat was hoachin’ hundreds of folk.

Sitting half way up the stairs, smoking and then spitting… Fucking disgusting. You just can’t get away from the smoke, and if you do find a corner to stand in some fucker invades your space to take a picture. I don’t know why any of these folk were on this cruise because none of them were actually looking at the view, they were too busy taking pictures of each other or watching videos or playing games and maybe having a cigarette just for the hell of it.

I hated almost every minute of this cruise. I nearly got back off before it left the pier. The only thing I really enjoyed was when it when through the lock on the secund dam which is downstream, just before the city of Yichang.

The boat dropped over 20m and that was impressive. The size of the lock and the engineering that underpins this is incredible, this is what I came to see. This is what I wanted to see at the Three Gorges. I did not want to be with hundreds of people, making to much noise, but not enough to block out the commentary over the ship loud speakers, and don’t forget the second hand smoke everywhere. I could not wait to get off this boat and get as far away from these people as possible.

Worst day of the trip so far….

PS. The Gorge scenery is stunning and it’s well worth seeing, but it’s not the reason why I chose this tour…

He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. They get paid so little money for what they do. Last night my 20min ride cost about $4, my airport trip was a bit more than that, however I think $25 is still not bad for a 45 min journey using the toll road.

The driver was yawning quite a bit and at one stage he was slapping his face, then he’d have a drink of tea. Well I think it was tea. Mind you he could have easily have passed for an Australian driver, because he shared very similar traits.

He hogged the outside lane, while people like me slipped through on the inside.

He moved, then indicated, then looked in the mirror and finally blasting the horn. Well maybe the last thing is not quite Australian, but the other stuff is.

Manoeuvre, Signal, Mirror.

Anybody see the problem?

I needed to change some currency and also put some of it on Wechat so that I can pay for things easily. I’ve had a bank account for years which is linked to my Wechat. It just makes it easier to change currency when in China and also to transfer funds to Wechat. The balance was about $20.

I had $400 Australian to convert. I knew it would take quite a bit of time to do this, because when I lived here and they knew me it could still take up to an hour by the time they check and check the amount to convert. It’s often run through the machine a dozen times. On top of that each note is scrutinised to the “n” th degree, and to make matters worse my ID had to be updated. What a fiasco, oh and then we have the language barrier. I was wishing I’d brought a packed lunch.

I was given number 230, when I got out they were up to 306. It was a long time, I might have to have another shave. Apart from the ID being updated, the simple process which I have done in many countries is just mental here. I have no idea why it’s made so difficult to try and just buy currency.

But after such a drama I had worked up an appetite, so I went to the Lanzhou LaMian restaurant to have lunch and that was delicious…

I don’t think Shantou gets many foreign  tourists, well I haven’t seen any yet. I’m here to visit the first school that I taught English at and to see how this backwater of a place had changed, and it has. As soon as you cross over the river into Chenghai it’s very obvious indeed. The banks of the river and the old village have been transformed into massive residential tower blocks. In the middle of the road a new rail line is under construction and its also very busy.

It was quite easy to find the old place. From the bus stop to the school, everything looked familiar, although there are many changes. The Friendly Supermarket is still there, and it sells products from Bundeberg.

The two petrol stations and the primary school are still there, however the corner shop where I bought most of my supplies has shut its doors. The Kindergarten is still there, but being a Sunday it was very quiet. Mind you, it did seem smaller for some reason.

I worked here back in 2014 for six months and I can’t say that I enjoyed it all the time, but it was an experience that I’m glad I participated in. It was also amazing to see what much of China is like before the heavy hand of government moves in to demolish and reform. This is not the kind of content that you see on YouTube from all those influencers paid for by the CCP.

After my Chenghai nostalgia, I headed back to the hotel for a snooze to recharge and to escape the heat.

I went into the old city of Shantou this evening and I’ll go back tomorrow also. At night the buildings are lit and there is one in particular that looks amazing. Watching a giant Panda escape through a window was great.

There is some lovely old architecture here and really narrow streets and the like and so tomorrow after a lazy morning, I’ll wander down there and the Port area for a wee swatch…

After months of planning, changing flights, changing hotels I have finally arrived at the airport, although a little bit too early.

My flight does not leave until after midnight and I got here with 5 hours to go. I struggle to stay home when the time is nigh. I’d done everything I needed to do and if I sit at home I only begin to worry that something will happen on the way and I’ll miss the plane, and so instead I leave with plenty of time up my sleeve.

Sitting here I can people watch, mind you the seats are not the best. I can’t get into the lounge until I’ve checked in my luggage. I’ve still got an hour to go before the gate opens.

Well I got into the lounge and had the Moroccan Chicken and Thai Vegetables with a glass of Chardonnay to wash it all down. It was a free lounge pass afterall.

The flight was OK I guess, I dozed off a few times and only woke up when my snoring woke me or maybe it was a dunt in my ribs from fellow passengers. Thankfully I came to just as breakfast was being served, scrambled eggs, yoghurt and fruit.

I had just under five hours to kill until my train into the mainland and so I went to Pret A Manger for coffee and wrap before I go to the land of the noodle.

As soon as you cross to the Chinese mainland side of Kowloon West, you can see and feel the change as we drift off into the land of the PRC. The officials are more officious, the staff bark at you and the toilets are not as nice. But, I’ve been here before so no surprises there.

The train journey was smooth and took around 2-1/2 hours and then I got into a taxi with a very friendly courteous driver who immediately started talking away to me and, Yes I could understand or my guesses were spot on 😊

The hotel is OK, but it’s on a busy intersection which I did not realise when booking. I’m only here for 3 nights so I’ll hopefully not go mental.

Had a shower and then went out to explore. After about 40 mins I was beginning to wain. I was looking for a Muslim Restaurant, however I couldn’t see one anywhere so instead I went to a Shanxi Restaurant and had beef Chow Mian, very thin noodles and a bit of a bite. Absolutely delicious.

Back to the hotel and I’m so glad that the Esim is working, it didn’t kick in until we got to about Shenzhen, which was a surprise as all reports claimed that it should work at Kowloon West once you crossed over.

So all is well. I’m knackered and I’m going to sleep.

I only had three weeks to work after the school holidays before I went on my sabbatical to China, however by the end of week two I was a broken man. Friday morning, after returning from the school run to the depot my nerves were shattered, I was struggling to stay composed because the noise that morning was just absolutely horrendous and on top of that the rubbish was everywhere.

“I quit”, I said “I’ve had enough…. can’t do another week of this shit”! Well that went down like a lead balloon but it made me feel so much better. A weight was lifted from my shoulders; this feeling of utter despair was gone in an instant and I was finally able to come up for air.

I was not a complete arsehole, because I went back and brought the little darlings back to their homes again and never said a word to any one of them of my intentions. They’re not all bad, but there are about 4 kids that just make the journey a misery and they get on at the first and second stops, which means that they are on the bus for the complete journey and I just cannot block them out. Like so many young kids these days, they speak with this American accent due to the fact they watch too much shit Americana. If there is one thing I hate more than the local twang, is having to listen to an American dribbling on about this and that.

So today, Monday, I got up at my same time; 5.30 rise and shine and had breakfast and then just sat there till the clock strolled passed the time that I would normally leave the house and it felt bloody marvellous. The rain was pissing down; it had been on most of the night, but we desperately need it.

I went to the supermarket for 7am opening and was back out 10 mins later. Got home and decided to clean the deck. It’s peppered with shit from the umpteen birds that come in and so I am going to have to see how I can dissuade them from doing so. The usual culprits, the Butcher Birds and Magpies are finally tolerating each other again after breeding season and they often have a shit and then just fly off. Why can’t they learn to have a shit before they come in to say hello.

And so my first day of chilling was very productive, even managed a siesta 😊 Tomorrow I will try and keep the momentum going and begin to put linseed oil onto the plywood I put up a couple of weeks ago and then we shall see what the wind brings.

I was coming back from Brisbane yesterday morning around 9am and I was heading through Annerley, when all of a sudden this leather clad Polis walked out in front of me and directed me to stop at this checkpoint. It was a bit chilly by Queensland standards and all six Polis had their wee flat caps and leather jackets on, at first glance they could have been mistaken for the Village People.

The short arsed one among them directed me to stop over to the left and then proceeded to introduce himself. All very civilised. I couldn’t understand a word he said really, no idea what “Cunstable” short arse said.

He had a full black beard that covered most of his face and the rest was taken up by a large pair of shades, similar to the ones that Zaphod Beeblbrox wore.

With IPad in hand we got the interrogation started.

This your car?  Yes

Did I know it was illegal to have my phone stuck to the windscreen under the rear view mirror? No

Well it is because it obscures your view.

I disagreed with him and said that it was safer there than being attached adjacent to the A Pillar because there is less chance of it being stolen if you have your window open and are parked or stopped at lights and secondly if it falls from the mount it won’t fall further than the car floor.

No, I’m completely wrong in my assumption.

I mentioned that it’s habit, because when I travel in the UK phone theft is rife and this makes things safer.

We are not in the UK.

Do you have your drivers license on you? Yes

He took my license and then went for a walk around the car.

He checked all four tyres, much to his disappointment they are new and even although the Olde Ford is 28 years old, she is in very good nick for her age.

After what seemed like a lifetime he makes his way back to the drivers door and asks me,  “When did I get my Australian licence?” I said, “1988”

He then asks, “Have you had an infraction with the police in all that time?”

“I don’t recall, no”

I think this threw him somewhat as he kept his eyes peeled on the IPad, well I guess they were ’cause I couldn’t see passed his massive shades.

After another few minutes it was time to do a breath test and of course that was zero, haven’t had a drink in weeks.

With a saddened look on his wee face he bade me farewell, his body language telling a story and so I buzzed the window back up and headed on my merry way.