On the metro last night there was a wee security guard that got on at one of the busier stations and I had to laugh because his night stick was about half the size of him and the body language was no different to any other wee nyaff in any country.

This wee bespectacled chap stood facing the door , feet spread apart, thumbs tucked into his belt showing off his acne.  But he stood there with an air of authority because of his big stick and uniform but all of a sudden his expression changes as he reaches for his phone. The phone is quickly out and he looks at it as if it’s a very important message,  maybe his noodles have arrived I’m not sure, but again this is the body language of someone who is trying to look more important than that really are and after all who hasn’t. His expression changes to one of urgency and it looks like he has to get off the train now but he will have to wait at least another minute before we reach the next station, but can he keep this act going for that length of time? No he cracks under the pressure, but he touches his night stick for some security and that seems to calm him before he struts out the train, regaining his composure…………………….

A nyaff is a nyaff in any country…………

Nyaff is a word used mainly in the West of Scotland; especially around the Glasgow area that is used when referring to someone who is a bit weird or ‘off’ or just to refer to someone who you think is a bit of a dickhead.