Off to Rockhampton, sitting at the departure gate, the flight leaves at 2pm. I brought the car and parked it at the long stay car park which is much more convenient. It’s $99 for the weekend which is pretty good.

Haven’t flown domestic for ages. I got my baggage ticket at the check in terminal but then didn’t know where to go to drop my bag so I joined a queue and got the usual happy Qantas staff member.

He said there was no need to join this line as I had checked in and the baggage drop is up at the end. I’m the only person in line. He made me feel so special when he decided to help me, prick! Fat gay men seem to be a prerequisite.

Up to this stage he had done nothing apart from feeling superior and being a prick. Qantas staff must go to a special seminar or maybe they just hire ignorant pricks. I never fly them if I have choice, I find that customer service is not in their repertoire.

Let’s see how the air crew goes.

Well I’m on the way home after a great weekend. James and family looked after me and we even indulged in some wonderful whisky.

Went to the beach, although the wind nearly blew away the hair that I have left. The fish and chips were delicious, just ask the seagulls.

I had my first drive in an electric car and was pleasantly surprised. It is so quick when you sink the wellie, and the breaks are great too coupled with the regen.

It goes like shit off a shovel!!

I’m on my way home and I’m just waiting for the check in to open and then I’ll go for a bit of lunch. I’m flying business class on the way back but I’m not sure how much better that is from flying peasant class on domestic.

The customer service was way better in Rockhampton which made the flight process a lot easier.

The only thing that went wrong with me journey was the chicken wrap that I bought for lunch. I had that and a latte and just before I got on the flight my stomach started to growl and 10 mins before the flight boarded I was sat on the loo trying to encourage what ever had possessed my innards to leave forth with.

It didn’t listen to me but I did manage to expel some.

On the plane I had a cup of tea and a packet of nuts, very nice. However, just as the plane began to descend the pressure changes fired up my bowels once more and for a moment I thought that life as I’d known it was over.

Lots of controlled breathing and talking to my innards as we approached the airport, telling them to just wait and chill and all will be well.

As we got closer to the ground I suddenly felt better. We landed and it was an eternity to get to the gate. I was champing at the bit, eyes watering. As I emerged into the terminal I spotted the toilets and made a B line for them, secured a cubicle and began to breathe easy once more.

I suffered this another twice before going to bed, my guts were in turmoil. I have never had an experience like that since I travelled through Burma and had a dodgy curry.

PS

Rockhampton was great and if I’m lucky I might just be able to move there one day, I haven’t totally given up on that idea 🤔