A busy week, I’ve done a bit of teaching, I have given a speech at a local Suzhou Garden event and I feel that I haven’t had time to scratch me arse. But that is the least of my problems really. On Monday I will have the water heater at my hoose in Australia changed because the current solar tank system has sprung a leak. Well it has had problems for a few months but I think it’s time to bite the bullet. I have an idea what the cost will be, but I am hoping that it’s not going to be too high. Nothing is cheap these days and an electrician and a plumber must be the most expensive trades.

But I guess in the big scheme of things it is no more than a blip on the horizon, especially if you look at what is happening around the world. I’m happy that my VPN is working again but it is also horrific to see what this clown Trump is doing in the world and I am also disgusted to see that the British government are giving him ammunition against Iran. I want to travel later in the year or early next year and I am sure I am not alone in this, but when you have a fucking bunch of greedy fanatical Americans bullying the world you just don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I dread to think what will happen when Boris becomes PM.

The days of, “shoot first and ask questions later”, has always been the prime policy for America both in a domestic capacity as well as internationally. They really are just arrogant, self centred and don’t give a fuck about anyone else and at the moment they have the ideal person to push the buttons. The ideal puppet being manipulated by the republican hawks, although Trump thinks he is in charge. The British government should be ashamed of themselves for not supporting their diplomat who seemed to be one of the few people to speak the truth about the Trump Whitehouse. Britain needs to stick with Europe and the others that are involved with Iran, stand firm against America and resolve the problem that is on going in the Gulf. They keep saying that there are mechanisms in place to circumvent the sanctions that are on Iran; well I say they should proceed and forget America even exists. America is a rogue state and always has been. Mind you the British government can’t implement the wishes of the British people in regards to Brexit and so I guess it’s a bit much to ask them to resolve the Iran problem or stand up to America a bit more.

I remember years ago we were all drinking at the Cochrane House hotel, our usual drinking hole. There were a few of us there, Lambert, Stuart, Dougie and myself……….although I have a feeling there were more but can’t quite pull the names out of the memory banks. Dougie was always an idiot after drinking too much; mind you he was an idiot most of the time. He started an argument with another guy in the pub and eventually we had to separate them before they killed each other. We all went back to our respective corners and finished our evening in relative peace. Dougie just kept drinking his double Black Russians……..he always had to get a double which was a bone of contention when we were buying rounds. He was angry and drunk and more obnoxious than usual.  Anyway last orders was upon us and we drank up and left and we decided to walk Lambert part of the way home because it was a little bit risky at times to walk along behind Johnstone High school on his way back to the Castle. We reached Cochrane Castle and low and behold the guys from the pub were standing there, the nutter that Dougie had been arguing with in the pub and soon it was on again ………nose to nose, chest to chest and then the shoving begins. Not sure who threw the first punch but the three of us just stood there and let it happen and so did the other guys friends. We stood around smoking and laughing at the two idiots fighting over the size if their “dicks”

This reminds me of Trump, of America………….start a fight with someone and then try to drag every Tom Dick and Harry into the fray and for what?

Trump thinks that he is right and everybody else is wrong, America is just the latest business venture that he is involved in that he will bring crashing down and that is fine by me, I don’t really care what America does to itself but it’s the fact that he will bring many other countries and people down with him. The most powerful country in the world has a fucking Neanderthal at the helm. We have all see the scenario before where we have an idiot in the Whitehouse doing what he is told by the folk around him, mind you when you watch it on TV direct from Hollywood at least we can have a laugh about it.

If you look back over the years at the involvement of America in world affairs since the end of WW2 you will see a familiar pattern. Trump is not the first lunatic that we have seen in the Whitehouse since then and I’m sure he won’t be the last. With the rise of Christian fundamentalism in America and a return to the dark ages in many states, I fear things will only get worse before they get better. Oh and don’t forget the PetroDollar. All these so called interventions around the world are mostly driven by the amount of money that can be made from said adventure. It’s common place for America to create a problem and then solve it by blowing the shit out of it. Mind you there is a documentary that you should watch called the “Coming war with China” in which you will see how they experimented with the lives of many innocent people in the Pacific while they were testing the Nuclear Bomb.

And so this morning I got up and the rain has stopped and after breakfast I went to the park, saw the old familiar faces. I haven’t been to the park as often this week because I’ve been busy and the last two days the rain has been pissing down. It’s great to listen to the rain at night; it helps me get to sleep. Today however is rather pleasant, the air is fresh and the humidity is being kept at bay by the breeze currently blowing through the apartment. I was going to go to the hills for a walk but I might leave it till tomorrow, it should have dried out a bit more by then. Today I will have a lazy day, read my “Stuart Macbride” novel, do the washing, go for lunch and of course this is always a drama…………..what to eat? Korean or Chinese…….I’ll work it out later………..I don’t want to stress too much over this decision.

Last Friday was hot, very hot….the mercury on the phone told me it was 36c but as we all know in the real world that if you actually go out into the sunshine then it will be a tad warmer and it was. On a Friday if I have nothing to do I really need to get away from the chaos of the city, the Spitters, the Belchers, the Farters….yes the Farters, the people that talk too loud and everybody else that gets on me tits and I really don’t have enough patience to list everybody. But anyway my escape route goes like this. After lunch in my favourite ethnic (Muslim) restaurant I get the number 4 bus to Tianpingshan and get off at the terminus. I took two bottles of water with me and some small snacks but I had been fuelled by my ethnic friends and so I felt I had enough fuel for the journey. The bus journey takes an hour and sometimes it can be ok but not today, all the people I was trying to escape from came along for the ride.

It was hot as I got off the bus, it was 12.20pm and so it was really a stupid time of the day to go oot but I’m thinking that it will be quiet…………….no other stupid bugger will be out here, but I was wrong. I tried a new path that I had found a few weeks ago and followed it to see where it would go. I had an idea that it was going to take me to the top but I did not realise just how steep the climb was, it was great. The path started on an easy gradient and then I was soon climbing over rocks and the terrain was becoming more challenging which was great. One section had a rope dangling down over the very steep rock face and so I climbed up there with ease. In the beginning I’m in shade and I could lose the hat but as I climbed more and more I had no choice but to put it on and the sweat was beginning to pour off me. I stopped to wipe me broo and caught the sweat just before it rolled into my eyes and then fended off the mosquitoes. One good thing about the sunshine is that the mosquitoes are smarter than me and don’t go out in it. I soon reached the top and I felt pretty pleased with myself. I had a quick look around and then began my descent to the bottom again, which you have to do to continue the walk. I took my time and wandered off other paths along the way to see if they had potential before doubling back to get back on track.

A few weeks before I had stopped at the small makeshift restaurant for spicy noodles and the old lady told me to have a rest because it was so hot, but I thanked here and carried on. The next part is really quite steep and underfoot is very slippy due to the small gravel that is everywhere. I got about half way up this totally exposed part of the hill and had to take a seat beneath the only tree. I sat there feeling absolutely shagged out. I took my hat off and drank water. I was beginning to overheat just like my old car does when I take it up Cunninghams Gap. The temperature rises quite high, but as soon as I reach the top she can breathe again and catch her breath and get the wind in her grills and she is fine. So this is me, same as the old Ford, temperature rising and not a breathe of wind anywhere.

Time to go and I hear some voices and I see a family inching their way down the path with their son, so I wait till they reach me before continuing up…………………..it’s what you do, give way to others. Mind you I expect a nod of the head, maybe a xie xie (thank you) but no nothing…Fuck all………..they just stare and say foreigner and carry on. Now they are not the only people to do this. They all seem to be smart enough to notice that I am indeed a foreigner in their land; however they seem to have no fuckin courtesy, or have any idea why the crazy old foreigner is waiting for them to descend to safer ground. This concept of giving way to others is just not understood here and they also oblivious to potential dangers for both them and others whilst hiking. But this is the normal behaviour of the Chinese, just keep on pushing on and only think of number one, no one else matters………….I’m all right Jack.

I got to the top of that hill and had to pull over once more to a layby and rest, only about 5 mins had passed I think but the temperature had risen once more. I sat in a rest area under a shade cloth, on a piece of wood and as I sat there drinking my water I looked around at the rubbish that has been abandoned here. You name it, it’s here. In fact all along the path today there has been empty water bottles and tissues, it’s fucking terrible. I know I go on about this but I hate it.

One more hill to climb after this small descent and then I’m at the top of Lingyenshan and near to the temple and its all downhill from here. But this bit can also be difficult if your legs are weary, because there are hundreds of steps to go down.

The bus ride home is fine, although I feel that I’m sitting in a puddle of sweat. Everything is wet and I’m sure there must have been a bit of a tangy smell by this stage. But I got back home and in one piece although feeling absolutely knackered.

Next morning when I woke up I felt that I had been hit by a bus; I was as flat as my phone that I forgot to put on charge. After breakfast it was back to bed for a siesta till lunch. After lunch I had coffee with a friend and then home for an early night.

Sunday I felt a bit better but the rain was on and it was pissing down and so it is the perfect excuse for not doing anything and so that is exactly what I did.

So today is Monday and I’m feeling nearly recharged. After breakfast I went to the park to do some exercise, something that I just could not do the last two days. It began to rain but only a light shower. The rain is supposed to clear today and then fine for the rest of the week and so I decide to go for another walk at Tianpingshan because I have a busy week and I’m not sure when I’ll get back out there again. Roadworks on the way make the journey a bit longer than usual and the driver was getting frustrated, but we get there eventually. Today is a lot cooler because it’s overcast and the rain is still hanging around, it’s a lot more pleasant than Friday and a lot better for walking. I took a different path this time which began to climb quickly and as I walked along the path I can see the mini gouges, ruts and valleys traced along the forest trail where the night before it would have resembled a river. This path is not bad and does not seem to be well used like the others I been on before. Again I come across large rocks and some of them have ropes set up and so I can pull myself up. My shoes slip on the rocks, but they are very sure on the trail. The path follows one of the ridges I have seen from my previous walks and is quite good. I can see the other path but there is no one on it. The path leads me to cliff edges and narrow paths and we still see to be climbing. All of a sudden I turn a corner and I can hear voices and then the next thing I know I’m at one of the mini shops that has been set up here on the hill and so I am in familiar territory. When I got to this point the other day I certainly didn’t feel as good.

And so I join the normal trail over the mountain and one thing that is apparent is that the track is a lot cleaner, not so much rubbish and I think this is due to the rain that we had. The rain was torrential and so it will have washed the debris into the bushes and further down the hill out of sight, but there was still enough hanging around to annoy me. The trail was washed out in places and the ruts had grown into canyons.

I reached the bottom of the last hill which leads up to the temple but instead of going there I fling a left and head down to another trail and back to Tianpingshan, it’s quieter there and I think this small walk that I have done is enough…………..I don’t want to overdo it again. I don’t have to wait long for the bus and I sit up at the back and then begin to freeze because the air-conditioning is too cold. Luckily I have me jacket and I can sit back, tune into radio 4 via the bus WiFi and listen to the Brexit troubles or to the bumbling of Trump as we make our way back to civilisation.

I went to Dayangshan last week but was unsuccessful in finding the path to the top of the mountain, but today with some good directions I managed to find the path to the top of the hill and so I went for a stroll across the spine of the mountain. It was around 8 km’s all tolled and most of it was easy, but the climb to the top of the first hill was very steep and I must admit my heart rate was at maximum and the lungs were gasping for air. I had to stop to catch my breath and to be honest I lost my breath before the strength but then again if you can not breathe you are pretty well screwed.

I reached the top quite quickly and stopped only briefly to take a few snaps and then I continued down the very nice flight of stairs and then on to the road that runs along the spine of the mountain. Along the way you will come across a very nice tea house with commanding views, well the views are not really that good but you can see for miles if there was no pollution.

I enjoyed the walk here today I guess because it was my first time here but it is not an interesting walk mainly because much of it was on the road, but if I can find a path through the forest then that will be more of an adventure. It’s also a little bit far and I think next time I go for a walk in the mountain I’ll go back to Lingyenshan because the terrain is more interesting and the walk is more challenging too, plus the fact that it is less than an hour from home.

The last few days have been a bit strange, it feels like I have a weight around my body and it is slowing me down and I just can’t seem to find my way out of the a quagmire……..but there is no obvious reason to feel this way……..mind you the weather has been crap the last few days and it’s been pissing down and I think it is affecting my mood some how.

So today I got up and had breakfast and once more met another new guest that is staying at our Airbnb house and to be honest with you I think that this is part of the problem. I’m getting sick of seeing these different folk come through our house, as I’ve said before some are good, in fact most are good but there are a few fuckwits that just want to make you throw them over the balcony.

So I think a change is in order, the current accommodation, although comfortable and a great location might need to be changed. So after the park I went for a shower and had a shave and then when I was all squeaky clean I went out and about and went for lunch and after lunch I needed to do a bit of shopping.

On the way to the market a guy stopped to ask me for directions and then he said “oh sorry I didn’t realise you were a foreigner” I said no problem and I then gave him directions to the supermarket. My good deed for the day. A minute later I’m just about to cross the road and as I walked under the tree on the corner something large and wet hit me on the head. I looked to the ground and down my front and on my jeans there was a rather large bird shit, what a fuckin’ mess…………what had this bird been eating………why was there a bird in the tree in the first place because in Suzhou this is quite a rare sight. Wildlife is not common here and so I was really shocked when I got smacked by this absolutely massive shit. Thankfully I had a hat on because it would have made a hell of a mess and it would have been quite disgusting if I had to scrape it off me nut even although it was all nice and shiny after shaving it this morning.

Now I’m paranoid that I might have shit down my back and so I tried to take a few pictures of myself to see if there was any shit I may have missed. I had tissues and wet wipes thankfully in my bag which was miraculously clean. The front of my shirt and my left thigh are covered in muck and as I tried to clean it, it just spread into the jeans and looked even worse.

I was starving and so I decided to go to the restaurant anyway and then go home because my stomach felt like my throat had been cut and so I did go and had my favourite potato and beef and then I headed home.

As soon as I got home I stripped off me gear and stuck it into the washing machine and made sure there was not any little bits of shit that I had missed and then sat down for a delicious cup of coffee. And so they do say it is lucky to get hit by bird shit and so I hope that there is some good news on the horizon or maybe some new opportunities coming my way…………….but I should just add that this bird must have been massive or it had a bad case of the runs………….

I had a very different iced coffee the other day when I was with my friend Chynna,…….I don’t normally have milk but it was a very different experience to have ice cube coffee and so you pour the hot milk over the cubes and enjoy. Not something I would rush back to have  to in a hurry but every so often would be acceptable………..

Iced Coffee

It was just a quiet drink,

That’s what we said,

And before you know it,

My wallet’s dead,

A collection of glasses,

The proof of the night,

Am no looking forward to the morn,

‘Cause right now I feel like shite,

When I surface, the sun is up,

Scratching my een,

I’m scared to move,

The lump in my throat so far unseen,

One helluva drooth,

The body aches,

My heid is nippin’,

Fuck’s sake,

The alcohol, the Trojan horse,

Creator of so much discourse,

My world is spinning,

Vertigo abounds,

Stomach heaves and hits the ground,

I remember that curry,

Gees it back,

Gees some Bru,

To ease the fact,

The cure of all cures,

This sacred drink,

I need another slug ah canny think,

Ach that’s better, I feel brand new,

A greasy breakfast and then off to the loo,

Getting blootered is way more fun,

But in the morn you see the sun,

Jesus Christ just give me a break,

I’ll no do it again, please for fuck’s sake,

I promise I’ll drink water or lemon and lime,

Or Angostura bitters will do just fine,

Nae mair booze, fur me that’s it,

I’m too old for this game am a drunkin’ git,

Hanging off the bar, just like big Ian before,

Waffling on every night, what a fuckin’ bore,

It’s time to quit; I can do this now,

I have the will power; I’ll show you how,

A month has passed I’ve lost 5 kilo,

My wallet is happy and I feel more mellow,

I even can remember what I did last night,

A novelty you know, the booze is a blight,

But I enjoyed it at the time, but those days are gone,

So now I can laugh at others while I stay strong,