I went for my annual service yesterday; well I got a blood test. I went to the same local pathology lab but this morning there was a new face there. She must have just started at this practice and I was the lucky first customer.

I do not mind getting blood taken from here because the usual girl does it quickly and efficiently and painless. The new girl on the other hand was extremely nervous and asked me too many questions.

We chose my left arm and she told me that I would feel a bit of a scrape, which I did. No problem there. The problem I had was the continuous commentary and adjectives such as beautiful and perfect being used which were completely out of context. Then we had my favourite fucking’ Australian adjective…….”Awesome”

“Can I confirm you date of birth?  Beautiful”

“Is your address…….? Perfect”

“Telephone number? Beautiful”

“Are these details correct?” …..”Awesome” Fucking Awesome. What happened to such words as Great, terrific, brilliant, fantastic?

This was by far more painful than the needle being forced into my body to extract my royal blood. My ears were almost bleeding in sympathy.