Luxor is an amazing place and you need to come here to see the wonderful temples and tombs, however I was not prepared for the number of annoying touts that are everywhere.

As soon as you walk out of the sanctuary of your hotel you are bombarded with calls from taxi drivers and the others with horse and carriage. If you acknowledge them they will follow you and harass you for quite a while and rather than tell them to fuck off I choose to ignore them and then they will go through a few different languages before giving up.

There’s a lovely esplanade along the Nile and this is where you run the gauntlet of everyone touting for business. This happens in a few ways, some will say ” Hi its Ahmed from the kitchen, how are you? Where are you going?” Ahmed has never seen a kitchen in his life.

This technique is repeated and modified by both men and women, it’s only the occupation that changes, oh and maybe the name.

The ones that I’ve found really disturbing are the horse and carriage drivers that try to coerce you to jump aboard. When I gave them the rubber ear he told me that he knew what I wanted and that I would really enjoy it. Very fuckin’ creepy. Then he told me he could make my banana hard or if I want I can get a hard banana, I wish they wouldn’t give so many choices. Some of these guys just go a bit too far and if I was built like a brick shit house then they would end up in the Nile. It’s just fucking weird.

I went for a coffee the other night and another Ahmed sat beside me and started talking to me. When I went to leave he said “Don’t worry my friend I have paid for your coffee” I told him “I don’t think so” I went up to pay for it and the owner charged me 40 Egp, I gave him a 50Egp and he gave me 10 change ( 50 cents) and then my friend Ahmed asked me for money, I handed him the 10Egp and then he asked for more. I said “I have no more change”  so he says “you can get change over there” I told him to “Fuck Off”  This wears you down and takes away some of the enjoyment of travelling through here. I am really fed up with these folk and the trouble is that when someone just wants to help you, your first reaction is to ignore them or tell them to go away.

However there is so much to see here that when all is said and done, it’s a place that you must come to if you have the opportunity.