I’ve never liked heavy makeup on women and I can always remember many years ago an incident that took place in a nightclub one night in Paisley. I think it was Toledo Junction in New Street in Paisley, Bert and myself and a few others had gone here to have drink and see if we could get a lumber. Bert and I was very different, he looked like he had just stepped off the set of Miami Vice and I had just come from Woodstock. Our taste in women were also very different. I prefer the natural look and Bert liked the glamorous look.

We had had a few drinks and now it was getting to that time of the night where we had to make our move. Now it was always easier if the two of you went up to ask two women, rather than go up yourself and ask one of them because the success rate was very low. And so up we went and I let Bert choose because he had been watching someone else from the Miami Vice movie set.

Bert was wearing his white jacket that he had bought that afternoon, I think it was about £100, which was quite a bit of money back in the 80’s. We both got lucky and so it was time for ” a ration of passion a kiss and a cuddle” as the DJ would say and the slow dance ensued.  As the dance finished and the lights came up instead of the 4 of us leaving together, the girls must have gotten a fright when the lights came up and decided that they would go home alone. And so Bert and I headed home via the hamburger stall in Gilmour street to see if we could find someone that we knew to cadge a lift home. If no one was there we could get a taxi and if we were lucky, watch a fight or two for entertainment. Gilmour Street was a large square outside the train station, but sometimes it felt more like the Coliseum.

It was only after we left the nightclub that we noticed that the girl Bert had been swooning with on the dance floor had left half of her face on his jacket. The muck she had plastered on her face and come off and stained his brand new £100 jacket and he went mental, I showed no sympathy at all and was laughing my head off, I thought it was hilarious. He took it to the dry cleaners but the jacket was never the same. That young girl had left her mark on Bert and his jacket 🙂 🙂

I’ve never been attracted to women that wear make up so thick that it looks like they have a contract with the Blue Circle Cement company. However I am fascinated by the women that do use this company everyday to put on their clown makeup. I’ve lived in China for the last 18 months and the women there don’t seem to use as much make up and when they do they make themselves look whiter, which is in contrast to the west. At the moment, I am in the UK and I have been astounded at the many women that plaster this muck on their faces without due care and attention.

In the west we want to look brown and healthy, thousands of pounds are spent on going to tanning studios to give you the same look as Donald Trump. These girls and women have embraced this strange practice and I would like to know why. Surely if they look in the mirror they will see that their face is not the same colour as their hands and more importantly not the same colour as their neck. In fact there is usually a line that follows the contour of their jaw line and they seem to forget that they have a neck at all. The contrast between natural and makeup would be similar to the contrast between skin and beard.

And the different colours that are used are many and also quite scary looking. Usually girls with blond hair, fake or otherwise will pick up their trowel and proceed to plaster on a bucket load of beige looking face, highlighted by razor sharp eyebrows that you could set your watch by. It’s absolutely amazing and I would love to have some pictures to share with you so that I could give you some examples, but alas in this day and age if I were to go up to ask someone for a picture then I would be accused of something untoward.

But these are stock images off the net,

I would love to go back to university and do a PHD on the study of “Why women think they need to wear so much make up to make themselves look like clowns” By now you will be thinking, ” so what” I’m not criticising these women but I am truly curious why they think that this is a good look. Some women will wear a little make up and it will will give them that glamorous look and I’m not against it after all it’s been done for millennia.

But it just goes to show you the power of the media that makes millions of women think that they have to go through this process everyday or they are not worthy. The pressure of social media and friends make many individuals feel so insecure that they feel that this is the norm. I guess the make up industry has a lot to lose if they don’t perpetuate the myth that this is a necessary part of everyday life. Below is a graph to show the increase in GBP of the Cosmetic Market in the UK up to 2016.

As you can see the sales figures are staggering. This is a big industry and of course you don’t need a graph to realise this. When you go to the High Street there are makeup shops a plenty. You walk into a large department store and you have to run the gauntlet of smells of the make up and perfumes. Now I will say at this time that I have never worn make up and to be honest I could not be bothered to go through this process everyday of my life. When I had long hair I would dry it by sitting in front of a fan heater and it took about 2 mins to do that. I don’t know of anyone else that did that and now I think I had a missed opportunity for a new gadget to flog to the masses. Heater and Hair Drier in one.

In Scotland it rains a lot, what happens to this make up when it rains? Do they need to run for cover and get out of the rain before their face ends up on the floor or is the technology that good that they can walk confidently through the Scottish weather and hold their head up high as Argent used to say.

The wonderful interior of the Scottish Museum

This is on the way down to the Grassmarket, which is one of the oldest parts of Edinburgh. Last time I was down here would have been over 30 years ago and I was falling out of a nightclub at some ridiculous time of day.

Me & Greyfriars Bobby.. You have to rub his wee nose for good luck and the good thing is, he disnae complain…..

This wee dog sat by his owners grave for 14 years before he finally joined him.

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The smallest pub in Scotland is in the Grassmarket area of Edinburgh and is also next the the Last Drop pub where the condemned prisoners would go before they met their maker. Nearby is also the spot where many Protestants were killed after the Reformation.

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 I was hoping to climb up to the top of Arthurs seat which is shown in the bottom picture, but I left it too late and the sun was going down way too quick. The ground was also very muddy due to the heavy rains, but I hope I can get to the top next time I’m through in Edinburgh.

A brick with holes and marbles for eyes.  £400.

A sponge for cleaning dishes with claws. £400.

I like art but what the Fuck is this?

I just wish I hadn’t thrown out all those worn out sponges cause I’d be worth a fortune. 

If you come to Edinburgh then you really need to come to the Scottish Museum, it’s a great place for kids and old folk too.

The architecture and design of this building is great and the skylight which runs the full length of the museum is fantastic and is as good if not better than the exhibits. If you look closely you can see the skeleton structure which is very similar in design to many of the old Gothic churches. A great piece of engineering.

I’d been before but this time had plenty of time to wander around and enjoy the space. There are also a lot of hands on exhibits here and so you can have a bit of fun or just annoy folk as you go. 

I loved this old clock…

Ken and I decided to go for a walk along the Greenock Cut which you will find on the hills above Greenock. The story goes that a long time a go a mill owner called Thom built a reservoir at the top of the hill and then cut a path for the water down the mountain to deliver fresh water to the town below. 

Today it was a little muddy and of course a little fresh,  but it was great to get out and about on this great walk over looking the Firth of Clyde.

I came through to Edinburgh today to meet Grace and her daughter Ivy, they live in Hong Kong and they are here for two days.

We decided to get an Airbnb apartment which cost £60 for the night.  It’s a two bedroom top floor apartment near Holyrood Palace. 

We met at The Scott Monument and then went for a wander up to the castle wandering around the old streets along  the way. 

It’s nice to be back here for a visit but as usual the weather is the only problem,  especially when the cold turns to rain. 

I went fur a wee run doon by the watter and the sun wus oot, but the wind would cut you in two😎

When I headed out today the wind was blowing a gale and the wind felt like it would cut you in two. 

I walked into town and then later met with Christine and Emma and we went down to Lochwinnoch to have some fish and chips. 

When we sat in the car the rain finally abated and then we saw this wonderful rainbow.

Then the sun came oot……

After a long day of travel, I finally got back to home soil and it feels good. As much as I have enjoyed my Italian odyssey I’m very happy to get back to normality. To come back to a city where gesticulations are only really done in anger. When I first arrived in Italy I found it rather amusing to watch all the cliche movements and gestures but after a while I found it rather irritating. It seems like life is just one big melodrama. Even when they are talking on the phone using hands free they talk as if the other person is in front of them. As I said before, “they walk with purpose and always seem to have somewhere to go and gesticulating on the move.” The Scottish are very different, we don’t really want every Tom Dick and Harry to know what we are on about.

The Italians are certainly a colourful bunch and very different from us Scottish folk.

But I was really surprised by the amount of people that smoke, I thought China was bad for smoking, but in Italy it’s worse because the women smoke more than the men. In China it’s usually only the men that smoke and so with both sexes smoking it feels worse. They also just discard the cigarette without a care, just like in China. But what is worse in Italy is the stench of cigarettes. As I said before you feel like you are walking through a huge ashtray and sometimes a really famous monument has been compromised by this plague.. It’s sometimes very difficult to walk down the street without inhaling second hand smoke. As a reformed smoker I think I’m more sensitive to it than maybe a non smoker, I hate it and this was one of the most annoying things about Italy.

Second most annoying thing, the driving. They are terrible drivers with no due care and attention for their fellow man. In the narrow streets of Naples I witnessed so many close shaves and I’m surprised I never saw bodies and cars collide. Most of the cars you see are damaged to back up this statement. But I will admit that Naples is a special case in many ways and s a little different form the other cities I visited. Venice was great because it’s mostly a car free zone.

Trying to change currency in Italy is next to daylight robbery, if you are lucky they will give around 2/3 of the actual rate on the open market. There is a city tax that must be paid only in cash, only in cash……….who is getting this little kickback I wonder.

Maybe I’m out of touch with the cost of things in the western world but the only thing that seemed cheap in Italy was the coffee.

The food is way too rich for me although very delicious but I will be returning to a more simpler diet now that I have returned home, but I am looking forward to getting back to China for some dumplings and noodles and the many other dishes I like.

I was also very surprised by the amount of African Business men that are all over Italy and they seem to do a bit more business in Naples. The black market, no pun intended has been cornered by them very well. In Naples near the main station you will see many of them just hanging around with no real purpose, but I’m sure they are keeping an eye out for someone.

But would I return to Italy, well yes I would but I would only be interested in the natural beauty that it has to offer. The Cinque Terra was a great place to visit and it was great to get out in the fresh air, but just like China you will come across a discarded cigarette even in the remotest of places. The history is amazing and along with it the architecture that has followed. But where to next? Well I’m going to stay in Scotland for a few weeks and then hopefully return to the east to see what life has to offer there.