Up at the crack of dawn, I’m heading to Singapore to see the solar eclipse. The border crossing was terrible, it was rush hour. It took around two hours to get through to the metro station of Woodside in Singapore. I bought a tourist pass and then I headed to the Science Centre to try and buy some Solar glasses. They place was hoachin’ when I arrived and the bad news was that there were no glasses left. Bugger.

But first lunch

I left and walked for the next hour trying the shopping malls nearby but nothing. The eclipse had begun by this time and then I saw a guy wearing the glasses, he offered me a look. I was surprised to find that I could barely make anything out. I thanked him and headed back towards the metro station. I might as well get near to the transport just in case this is a total waste of time.

I saw a McDonald’s and thought I’d stop in for a coffee. As I stood outside I looked up to the sky through the glass awning and to my surprise I could see the sun with the shadow of the moon crossing it as clear as day. With my polarised specs I could see it perfectly. The awning seemed to be filtering out the glare and so you could look at it comfortably without having to squint. The pictures that I have here were taken on my phone but I took a few on my camera but I haven’t got my computer with me so I can’t download them yet.

A crowd soon gathered and before you know it the eclipse was in full swing. It was an amazing thing to see but for some reason I also expected to have total darkness but I’ve since learned that I witnessed an annular eclipse and not a total eclipse which I hope I will be able to see one day.

Later I went for a 10 km walk and then headed back to the hotel. A busy day but a good day.

Oh and the Chinese means,

The Sky Dog eats the sun.

I got a bum steer about where to catch the bus from the airport to Johor Bahru and because of this I had to wait over an hour in the heat, not happy Jan. The bus when it arrived was being driven by a doughtery old bus driver that seemed well passed his use by date.

The border crossing was bedlam, the whole population of Johor was heading home for Christmas. Two immigration checkpoints had to be navigated and the officers working there were obviously not happy that they could not go home so they just took their time and didn’t care at the mounting queues of humanity waiting to get through.

Once through you have to find your bus again that takes you to the station, easier said than done and even more difficult when one is having to lug around a rather large suitcase.

When I was finally free of the bus I then had to find my hotel. According to Google it was on 30 mins away if I walked. I saw two security guards and asked them where I could get a taxi or was it just as easy to walk? They suggested the walk might be easier than getting a taxi this evening. They pointed me on my way and I checked Google maps once more and all seemed OK.

I headed off and incurred my first obstacle which was how to get out of where I was. Again I was assured go this way and follow the bike lane and then turn right at the lights and all will be hunky dory. Now remember I’m lugging a very large case. After ten mins I’m thinking this ain’t a good idea. I flag down a taxi and he doesn’t stop. I continue to walk along the path until the bike lane merges with the dual carriage way and then I’m fucked, on two fronts literally…… I can’t continue and I’m knackered. I have no choice but to turn around. I retrace my steps and try heading in the opposite direction towards the Shell petrol station but then I discover it’s on the other side of the road which I can’t cross.

I go down a side street because Google tells me I can get back to the bus station, but I can’t. I pass a factory with a gate house and ask the security guard if he can call a Grab taxi for me because I don’t have a sim card for my phone yet. He doesn’t understand and offers to dial the number of the taxi on my phone.

I head off again to where I saw a small food stall because I haven’t eaten in hours and have had no water since the cup of tea that I had on the plane, I’m feeling a little bit desperate and wonder if I’ll ever make it to my hotel this evening. It’s now close to 9pm.

I ask the guy in the food stall if he could order me a taxi and I explain my situation. No one has the app for GRAB. I said it doesn’t matter, any taxi will do. After a few minutes the guy from the bike shop next door comes over to ask what the problem is and then he offered to drop me at my hotel, I couldn’t believe it….. I was finally going to get to my hotel.

My chauffeur Jack told me that he had seen me walk passed earlier and that’s one reason why he offered to take me. He could see that I was a bit stuck and in a bit of trouble.

Ten minutes later I was saying thank you and good bye to my new friend Jack as he dropped me at the front door of my hotel. And so is this me getting paid back by Karma for losing the plot on the plane when I asked the couple next to me to stop sniffing or is it just my own stupidity for not getting a sim card and then I could have just called a taxi like I do when I’m in China.

It took me almost as long to get from Chiangi Airport to me hotel as the flight did from Shanghai to Singapore.

Bah Humbug

I arrived in shanghai last night so that I did not have to worry or struggle about getting to the airport on time because I had an early flight going to Singapore. I’m currently on the plane so so far so good. I arrived at the airport a little after 6 am and it was just waking up. The security check was swift and painless as I entered the terminal. Check in was also smooth apart from one Chinese woman trying to skip the queue but she stopped when she saw my friendly face.

I got a window seat which makes a change and this is great because I’ll be able to rest my weary head. Passport control went smoothly and I also confirmed the last date that I can enter China and when I can stay till. Useful information. The last security check was also swift and smooth and before you know it I was through and then had to find the all important coffee because I hadn’t had a cup since yesterday morning. I’m afraid I had to settle for Starbucks but it was the lesser and cheapest of evils on offer.

I went to the gate and was so glad that I had bought my almond and raisin bread at the 85C Bakery yesterday. I found a comfy seat and settled in for the 90 minute wait till boarding.

Beside me there is a mother and son, the mother is irritating. She is sniffing and won’t blow her nose. Her breath is foul, not sure when the last time those babies saw some Colgate.

Shortly after writing this the son begins to snort as well, the next two hours are not going to be easy.

The flight at the moment is quite rough, the turbulence at times makes it feel more like a roller-coaster, but at least we are getting our money’s worth.

Just before lunch was served I asked the woman next to me if she would like a tissue to blow her nose and she told me that she had an allergy and not too worry because it was not a cold, she obviously doesn’t understand the inference of my question, however the sniffing seems to have eased a little and so maybe I might have made her aware of the racket….. I just need to find a toothbrush and toothpaste now.

It’s at times like this I can understand whole heartedly why buying a Learjet seems such a wonderful idea, if only.

Lunch was so so, pork and rice. A very sweet dessert which I left alone and a bum role and tea, just enough to make it to Singapore and then I can seek out some tasty morsel after I arrive at my hotel which might take a wee bit of time.

I’ll be looking forward to having a shower when I check in, the hotel I stayed at last night wasn’t so good and so I only washed the oxters and face and splashed on some anti pong before checking out. But if I am a bit on the nose then maybe that explains the smelly sniffing wuman beside me.

Posted from 40,000 FEET

I went to Tianpingshan this weekend which is the first time for a few weeks and it was good to be out of the city once more. The mountain was looking rather bare in places which allowed me to see it a different way. The paths look different and the lay of the land has new colours. I came across a new path that I had not seen before and only stumbled upon it because I could see through the trees and see a few colourful hikers climbing up a large chunk of smooth rock with a slight resemblance to Bald Rock in Australia. It was certainly challenging in places as it was quite easy to lose traction,which I did a few times and I ended back where I started, but it was good to try a different route.

The mornings are fresh and sometimes there is a light frost but the last few days the temperature has risen and it feels very mild. The sun has been shining and is supposed to until the end of the week and then the rains will arrive or maybe snow if we are lucky, but I won’t be here because the following week I’ll be heading to Singapore for my visa run, where I am hoping to see my first solar eclipse.

In the park in the mornings we have the usual crowd of misfits. There are the dog walker’s that colour coordinate with their dogs coat and some wee dogs even have little boots on. There are many that come and walk slower than a sloth and watch the phone as they perambulate and every so often an arm will twitch or stretch so that they can actually not lie when someone asks them about the morning workout. Many just stand with legs stretched, hooked around a bar at shoulder height and they too will be watching their phone.

One guy leaves his backpack on the park bench and then walks around the park for almost an hour. Leaving a bag unattended in China does not seem to bring with it any concern or worry from the public; they don’t even seem to think it is at all strange. Can you imagine doing this in a western country, the moment you walk off someone would call the police and by the time you had completed one circuit your bag will have been cordoned off and the park would be getting cleared or there would be a robot moving in to dismantle.

Yesterday I went to the bank to buy some currency, which is usually a straight forward process in many countries………but not here. I had gone in a few days earlier to order the money which is ok but then the process seems to take forever. I hand over my passport and my bank card, it’s my local bank and they know me. They fill out the details on the computer and then I enter my password, we do this a second time and a third time and in between all of this my bank card and passport are photographed and scanned multiple times. I was in the bank for nearly 30 minutes just waiting to buy $400 US. This is the maximum amount that I am able to buy in one transaction in China. When I did my visa run to Korea a few months ago I went into the bank there to change some money and it took all of about 5 minutes and they didn’t want to see my passport, so so different. China seems to watch everything that you do in great detail. It seems that things are signed, countersigned and then done in triplicate before being complete. A friend of mine was kind enough to go to the bank and change some cash for me but she said that she too got asked 20 questions as to why she wanted the money.

And so one more week to go of routines and having to put up with Sissi’s mother who is just driving me mad, I’m really looking forward to a break from China and to taste a little bit of freedom and of course having a really tasty Indian curry when I get to Singapore.

I sometimes help this young chap with his English and this was his final presentation for the year. I think that this is one of the best short presentations I have seen in a long time and so poignant to many.

I feel trapped, cut off,

In the dark,

No light,

The VPN, my torch,

My sanity,

My saviour,

My umbilical cord has been severed,

My simple pleasures,

My music,

My TV,

My news,

All Smoke and mirrors,

My freedom of choice,

Behind the wall I have no voice,

Banned by Pooh,

They prefer not to see,

Beaten to submission,

Ghostly faces glued to screens,

Watching Propaganda so it seems,

A few years ago it was Tom and Jerry,

But now it’s what you don’t see that I find scary.

Some days in China are a real struggle as I’ve mentioned numerous times before, but there are other days I don’t give a fuck and embrace the possibility of having a bit of fun. For instance when I get off the metro and the door opens and someone is standing in my way I don’t move anymore, I just stop and stare at them which seems to freak most of them out. A Paddington Bear Stare will usually suffice and they will move out the way, although I’m not sure if the look they give me is one of confusion or fear, either way I get a chuckle from it.

Two days a week I travel on the same route and I use the same doors each time because I want to make a quick exit to the escalator or stairwell that is available and so I’m sure it’s only a matter of time where I will not have to go through this rigmarole each time I travel, but then if I get too bored I’ll just change the door I exit through.

 But what I do enjoy on the metro is watching the look of anticipation and expectation on the faces of the folk waiting to board, hoping there is a seat available, and they rush on and quickly scan the carriage and then as the realisation slowly sinks in that there are no empty seats their wee faces fall flat and they look so sad and then they look again just in case they made a mistake, but alas it’s still the same…..nothing has changed……. 🙂

This is when you will see the older generation morph into a mythical being of sorts, they move at warp speed, When the train stops at the next station they have already managed to scan the carriage and are very aware of the subtle body language which betrays those passengers that are getting ready to alight and even if they are at the other end of the carriage they get there in an instant it’s amazing, it’s akin to some Kung Fu master who is at one with his surroundings and can move in a blink of an eye. If you are the one getting ready to alight then you will be amazed at how quickly the vacant seat is occupied as you and your arse are in mid flight to the upright position and as you soon as you reach your full height I can guarantee that your seat has had no time to get cold due to the new arse that has taken up residence.

I have to change trains on one of my journeys and at the interchange station called Hongzhuang I catch the train to Muli. The train begins from Hongzhuang and so when it arrives at the station the train is empty and yet when people queue for this part of the journey they mostly stand in the correct position, something they rarely do at any other station on the network and so they will stand on either side of the door as they should everywhere else, whereas I do not……………I stand bang in the middle because the carriage will be empty. I’m completely baffled by this behaviour and I can feel a PHD coming on.

If you are a people watcher then you need to come to China and live here for a short time and you will not be disappointed, although I will warn you it will push you to the brink of insanity. You have to remember there are about 1.4 Billion people here and so they will eventually wear you down to a broken individual if you let them, some days I feel like a real basket case…………..