6 years ago I headed off on the trip of a lifetime, in which I flew Business Class to the UK to begin the adventure. I remember vividly the sense of relief and also excitement to know that I was leaving my life as I knew it behind me, all responsibilities on hold for a while. I was free to go where I wanted and when I wanted. It had taken 6 months of planning to get here and I can remember the Sunday afternoon where it all began. I was having lunch out on the deck and browsing on the laptop when I checked to see where I could go with my frequent flyer points, as it turned out I had enough to go to the UK on a one way ticket and so I bought that and the journey had begun. Unfortunately International travel is not so cheap these days.

I’ve been back in Australia two years now and I just haven’t found my stride yet and so it is time for a new plan, a more daring plan which I will keep the details under wraps for the moment. I need a change of scenery once more and I think I have worked out where and roughly when I will go, however I need to start to de-clutter and get the house into some sort of order for my departure.

I started with the garden; I got a cube of mulch and spread it onto the garden and at the same time tidied up areas that had been severely neglected. I finished the paving, moved the piles of gravel that have sat there for months. I have done more in the last two days than I have done in weeks and all because I have purpose once more to get things ship shape.

I cleared the remains of the tree that Catherine and Stuart helped me with, but there are a few bits that are going to have to stay as garden features because they are way too heavy to move.

I then got stuck into the big shed and pulled out all the timber and metal that I have collected over the years. I’m going to see if I can get a quid or two at the metal recyclers for some of the SHS that I have.

I’m back at work tomorrow after a two week break and it will be good to get back to get the cash but I must admit I’d rather stay home to keep the momentum flowing, but alas the bills are still coming in and I haven’t managed to win the lottery just yet. The latest expense was my 5 year driving licence which set me back $192; my licence I got in the UK in 1977 for £5 is still valid………Australia the lucky country.

At least I was able to renew it online without having to go into the Roads and traffic office which was some consolation I guess.

The weather has been dry for a week, no sign of rain here which has been great. With the dry weather and clear nights the temperatures have plummeted, there was frost this morning.

Well me and the Ford made it back to the Swich last night. When I slowed down for the lights before going onto the motorway I could hear this low rumble which was coming from the olde Ford, it sounded great. When I got back home I discovered that the exhaust had snapped off just after the first silencer, well it’s been on the for a very long time. And so this morning I got a new exhaust and it cost $425 which is around what I expected, however apart from that the Ford did a grand job……the only thing I’ll do next time will be to put some injector cleaner through next time as there were a few times when running on petrol she was only firing on 5 cylinders.

On another note I got my mini ear buds delivered from China after they refunded the money after I asked where they were. I’ll contact them and send them the funds, bad karma if I don’t.

My last day in the tropics was spent having a look at some caves and then a wander around the streets looking at houses. The sun was shining but the wind was a wee bit chilly. Heading back home early tomorrow.

On Saturday morning I headed to Rockhampton to catch up with friends James and Jess, this is my first trip to Rockhampton in over 20 years. Last time I was here I got a lecture from an ex, where she happily told me what she thought of me and she said that if I didn’t change my ways I’ll always be loser….. Charming…. However she was right…..

I’m thinking of moving here and so I’ve come up here to see how I feel about the place and to look around at houses. On Friday I got an email from my insurance company and they said that my premium has doubled since last year, I can’t afford $3400 a year so it’s time to leave Ipswich behind.

The drive was good, I left at 6:30 am and arrived at 16:30. I haven’t driven this far in years and I was a bit worried about how I would be but I really enjoyed the drive and the old Ford did just grand.

On Sunday James and Jess took me for a drive to Yeppoon and around Rockhampton so that I could see the lay of the land, I really like what I have seen so far and I’m looking forward to getting back to set the wheels in motion.

James and I had a few drinks

I thought I would go to the local Vietnamese Cafe that’s recently opened and have some beef Pho, it was delicious and so was the coffee and apple strudel that followed 😋☕

Was the day I left the UK on a one way ticket to a brighter future, well that was the idea. In Scotland I had a good life, good friends but life was just standing still and there was no future on the horizon. I immigrated to Australia, I did this because I had been there 18 months earlier and thought that it was new and exciting and so very different to life as I knew it.

34 years on I’m looking to leave Australia as life is once more stagnant to me. I am going through the motions living with the noise of a country that can’t decide to move into the future. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lovely house which I have worked hard for and many friends but there is no mental stimulation here for me anymore. 34 years ago I really wish I had the balls to go to a country that was very different to my origins.

I’ve had a fairly easy life here but I’m bored and have been for many years, hence the reason why I pissed off in 2016 and of course if the dreaded plague had not arrived I would have been still wandering the planet chasing new adventures and all the time nowhere near the dreaded accents of the Australians. I’m currently working alongside a bloke that is a fine example of an Australian that completely bastardises every vowel, he’s a lovely bloke but listening to this accent all day is like having nails dragged down the chalk board.

I’ve met many other British expats over the years and have been very jealous of some that had the foresight to create a new life in a country with a different language or where the culture was vastly different from home. At 28 I was not as smart as I thought I was, in fact I would go as far as to say that I was as thick as pig shit. I drank too much and when I bumped into other Scottish folk I gravitated towards them and so all I had really done was move to a place where the sun shone most of the time.

I don’t really have any major regrets, it’s not good to have regrets but if I had any it’s that I drank too much and should have been more independent and completely avoided many of the acquaintances I made in my early days in Australia. I wonder where I would be today if I had taken the sober path earlier in my life?

Now I am approaching another fork in the road; cash in my house and buy a new cheaper one elsewhere and then travel again or I stay where I am and rent this house out and bugger off once more. I would rather stay where I am but there is the prospect of flooding happening in the future, it might not happen for another 10 years……..it might never happen again but can I take that risk? I don’t want to be in my 70’s and having to deal with all the shit of being flooded. I’m on the edge of the flood zone. If I could move my house 4 meters higher then I would stay and have no worries about the future. Many suburbs are now unable to get house insurance or if they do offer it the premiums are exorbitant.

So after 34 years I need a change and I really wish that I had made some of these decisions a decade ago. I’ve been lucky in life to meet some amazing people that have contributed to my random wanderings which have been great. I now need some new ideas and I have a few in my head, I just have to find out a bit more information before I take my next steps to the next 34 years.

Winter arrived last week with a vengeance and there was even frost on some of the cars as the sun was getting up. I still cycled to work but had to stop a couple of times to wipe the snot from me nose. With the wind chill it would have been below freezing for sure, but still managed to wear the shorts.

Last weekend Stuart and Catherine came up to help me with the old tree in the back garden. I had started to remove the lower branches last week but the rest of the tree was just too big for me to tackle on my own, plus the fact that Stuart has a bit of experience with this lumberjack nonsense. What a difference a chain saw makes.

After three or four hours the tree had been reduced to bits and pieces scattered around the garden. The yellow sawdust was everywhere and I did feel rather sorry for what we had done to the old tree, but I am sure that once spring arrives for real it will begin to grow once more.

It was a good day to fell the tree; the sun was shining and it was only around 20c and so it was easy to work in. The best part I guess is that we managed to do all this without anyone being hurt or causing any significant damage to my shed or fence.

The Indian curry we went for in the evening tasted absolutely delicious and was the perfect way to finish off a very cool winter’s day for us lumberjacks.

The next morning the sun was up and the temp was cool, another beautiful day and so we went to Boonah to have a look at the Clydesdale horse event which turned out to be very good, the highlight for me was the ice-cream and apple crumble.

On Monday it seemed as if winter had finished only after one week. The temperatures had once more increased to double figures overnight, which is a bit of a shame because I do enjoy these fresh mornings.

This past week has seen the amount of snot and mucus reach an all time high. It’s been a long time since I have coughed up a lung. This head cold hit me with a vengeance and as a result I had to buy some drugs, Codral tablets to be exact. They seem to work a lot better than I remember as they do cut down the amount of snot produced but then it reaches a consistency that makes it difficult to exit the nasal passage or throat for that matter. I can feel lumps of it caught in my throat as it clings on for dear life.

Strepsils have menthol in them and they instantly open all the apertures you need for breathing and then the snot is released in cycles of undignified guttural noises and this is when you need to have your spittoon at the ready. In fact I think a spittoon is a must in these situations.

By Friday I had run out of Codral and so I returned to the chemist to see if there were any other options because although I was feeling slightly better this cloud was still lingering and I wanted to shift it. I went for some Demazin, which had a day and night option with bright pink night tablets ready to be popped. I prepared myself by buying a vegetarian pizza which I scoffed whole heartedly, followed by several cups of tea and then a few spicy crisps and almonds to make sure I had an all round balanced diet.

I popped two pink tablets at around 9pm and wandered off to bed to get good nights sleep. I switched off the alarm and switched on a podcast. I don’t remember much of the podcast, can’t even remember what it was about. When I awoke the sun was up, which is unusual. It was 7 am and I had slept right through, but instead of feeling fan dabby dozy I was as flat as a pancake. These drugs really fuck you over.

After breakfast the snot returned, but I was feeling that the drugs had at least given its marching orders to the snot and so I decided to drop one more normal Demazin and rest my weary head once more. I woke up at 10am and after a cuppa headed out to the garden. No more drugs until it’s time for bed, these fuckers knock you out and create lethargy in spades.

I had to do a big washing because as it has rained for the last few years, it was nice to once more see the sun. The tree in the back yard has needed a trim for some time now and so began to trim the lower branches using my wonderful bow saw on a stick that I have. It effortlessly cut through the thinner branches and before you know it the amount of light reaching the ground had increased tenfold. The next time I tackle this I will need to get out the ladders and trestles but to be honest I don’t feel strong enough to tackle this at the moment and I feel that this is partly due to these Demazin drugs, they seem to suck the life force from you.

Saturday evening I retired early and took more Pink tabs, I’m not up early on Sunday so I can take it easy.

Sunday morning I got up at 8am, haven’t done that in many a long day. I won’t be taking anymore of those this week because I need to get up early in the morn and I don’t want to fight through the fog at dark o’clock.

The snot has certainly reduced, but the lumps of phlegm being launched from my throat has increased and the spittoon needs to be emptied more often which is a good thing. My body feels very weak and I have no desire to do anything, even although this is the first weekend for weeks when the sun has been shining. The wind is blowing a gale and feels very cold and the mere thought of going out there to cut the grass sends a shiver down my spine…………I’ll do it tomorrow. (Asta manyana)

So today. Sunday, I have eaten breakfast, had one Demazin, had a snooze, had tea, sat outside, ate lunch while watching TV and then had another siesta and now I am writing this which will be followed by more coffee, more eating whilst watching TV and then it will be time for bed. No doubt tomorrow I’ll wake up with the beginnings of a guilt trip for doing absolutely nothing today, however if the snot has fucked off and I can wash out the spittoon and put it back into storage I will be a happy man.

At last, Morrison is out. This evangelical puppet of the US of A, this lying cunt, condescending prick, this psychotic narcissist has finally been put to rest. He attainted the position of PM by default, not by merit. He stabbed Turnbull in the back and as the race for the new leader came down to the wire it was either him or this other maniacal nutter called Dutton, Morrison was the lesser of two evils. At the last election there was no competition and so he got back in easily, not because they wanted him but once again he was the lesser of two evils.

We need a change in this country, it’s one of the richest countries in the world and yet it manages to waste so much money on nothing of value. There always has to be a commission of some sort before common sense decisions are made. There has been no leadership in this country for years. I’m not sure if the new PM will be able to fulfil half of the promises made but you know at the end of the day he seems to be a more genuine individual that is fallible and can relate to the common man naturally without having to practice.

Morrison was only interested in one person, himself. Last week when he realised that his “bum was oot the windae”, he tried so hard to be affable when being interviewed. The crazed look of a desperate man, knowing that he was soon to be headed to the gallows. It was almost enjoyable watching him squirm but for me it was still a struggle to watch him as he writhed in his own shit. But either way I am happy that he has left the centre stage and it is also satisfying to know that he knows that it is his fault that his party lost the election, although he will never really accept that I’m sure.

There was another cat fight last night. Around 2 am I got up to go to the loo and I heard this scuffle followed by the howl of a couple of banshees giving it welly outside. This morning I found the remains of one of those cats outside the back door.