Last Monday was the start of one of the biggest movements of people in the world. Many Chinese head home to see families and many will just go on holiday. If you want to be play tourist, it’s not a good time to do so as everywhere is so busy.  But what I find quite interesting is the fact that when everyone stops for work on the previous Friday,they then have the whole week off. You may think that is great because you have the 9 days off, well not in China because that’s not how it works here. 

Everyone returns to work on the Saturday and everyone thinks that this is OK because they have just had 7 days off, but now they have to work the next 7 days to make up for some of the time.  So this really means that if they have their normal weekend off and then the holiday starts on Monday then they really only get 3 days holiday because they have to work the following weekend.  Confused? But the thing is most people think they have just had 7 days off work. Well technically they have.  It’s brilliant and no one complains ’cause this is China😆

And what’s not to like about Bowmore Single Malt Whisky?

Although the bottle is not quite as full anymore.

Cheers

Cars and glamour aplenty in Suzhou today (Saturday ) and for the next week. All the usual big names were there including many Chinese brands. One Chinese car even looks suspiciously  like a Porsche.

Mind you it’s about 3/4 size of the real Porsche.

It was extremely noisy in the halls. There doesn’t seem to be any regulation in the volume levels you can create. This mind you is common all over China. Businesses play loud music to lure you into their establishment, but to be honest all it really does is make your ears bleed. So in the car show I put on my headphones to try and make it more bearable. Listening to Ramstein on full volume would have done less damage to my ears. 

Of course the beauty of a Chinese car show is that there are still plenty of scantily clad young ladies to feast your eyes on. 

And some had a bit more class. ..

I liked this young lady because she gave me a wry smile after someone walked in front of me the first time I tried to take her picture. 

At the American Cadilac stand there were two predictable white folks there standing like statues. The bloke was like the typical Jock college kind a guy that really looked uncomfortable wearing a suit and may I add, looked as thick as pig shit.

The young lady was the typical blonde, tall and skinny but the evening dress did look a bit cheap. But she still seemed to attract many many admirers.Ken and Barbie I presume? 

But there were also some really nice cars here and afterall that’s the reason why a lot of us were here. In fact there were many customers signing up for a new car on the day and there were plenty of young sales people sitting patiently with pens at the ready. 

The New Jaguar SUV

The lovely Rolls Royce

The Tesla SUV

The Bentley SUV

But you know the best is still the Range Rover by far. And I could have bought one here for just under 2 million RMB.And you know, even if I had that kind of money I certainly wouldn’t want to drive it in a country where the driving is so bad. I would say it’s scary when  your sitting as passenger because you’re not in control of the car. But if I was allowed to drive here I would become very aggressive and I think I would give no quarter. 

China is a country where there are millions of learner drivers and a lot of them are in shiny new cars. They don’t think ahead, their lane discipline is shocking. They stop where they feel like it, even on an outside lane. Many of them are not only talking on their phones but looking at them. It’s a miracle there are not more accidents because they don’t seem to perceive potential situations and adapt their driving to suit. It’s either flat out or hand on the horn and hopefully that will make the problem go away. 

And so back to the car show. It was interesting to see the European cars beside their American counterparts because it just shows how they are world’s apart.  There’s the brash and unsophisticated American design and then the more refined European.

 I do like Yank tanks and I saw a few in Thailand recently and I would have anyone one of them over anything currently on offer from America.

What’s not too like? 

But one more must have for your car and this is a lovely set of eye lashes for your head lights to give it a certain je ne sais quoi

I’ve only seen this in China,  this strange dress code where the kids that are old enough to walk wear trousers with a split up the backside. It is a bit weird to come across this in the street and seeing two wee arse cheeks peeking out. I mean it must be a wee bit chilly not to mention the embarrassment of having your arse hanging oot yer breeks. Mind you I guess it’s good to get a bit of ventilation especially when, let’s say it’s hot . I mean I can imagine that there would be times when a wee breeze blowing around would be quite pleasant, especially if it’s that hot and sticky and the sweat was to start to form in the shuch o’yer arse, then I could see this as a great design feature but not if you live in the state of Victoria in Australia because as of the other day you could be jailed for up to 2 years for letting folk see your arse. You get less jail time if you do a bit of GBH, thieving, break and enter and even smoking a bit of weed. So this might cause a diplomatic incident if the Australians were to lock up some poor kid for wearing his everyday gear. 

I wonder what the rules are in Victoria if you were a wee g-string and you show yer bum?

Well that’s what I got told this afternoon by a couple of young ladies here in China. 😎 Not sure what they had been smoking.

Of course they are completely correct… …stunning good looks coupled with grey highlights   I might have to stay here afterall as it will be good for the ego and of course for the Chinese…..mind you their guide dogs didn’t seem to agree at all 😯

Now there are a lot of guys smoke in China but not all are doing it because they enjoy it. In fact as an ex smoker I know a thing or two about smoking. In fact I have smoked a few things over the years. There were all the usual brands B&H, Club Kingsize,More Menthol, Paki Black Moroccan Gold and the good old Cannabis Resin which if you put on top of a More cigarette then no one was any the wiser,so if I was in the Cochrane House or the Osprey then I could get pissed on one pint if I had one of my special More ciggies. I didn’t “smoke” very much because it was so expensive  I mean back in 1980 it was around £15 for an amount no bigger than a cold and flu tablet  but if you bought in bulk and then resold it you could get to smoke it for free so to speak. I found this to be a good option.

So anyway back to the smokers at hand.  And may I say at this point I’ve been in China two weeks, although it feels like a lifetime, and I’ve only seen one woman smoker. I’m sure there are a lot more women smoking here than I’ve seen but I think they must do it behind closed doors. I think it’s kinda frowned upon. Go figure, with everything else going on in this vast country.

I’d better get back to my story of observation.  Many men smoke but they are not really smoking. It’s all for show, I mean it’s a competition to see who can be the coolest without getting cancer. They hold the cigarettes in a variety of poses which if I didn’t know better I would think they have changed sides. It’s always better to have a new ciggy dangling from the corner of the mouth like some poor impersonation of Clint Eastwood in a Few Dollars More. For years I’ve felt the urge to walk up to one of these cool dudes and take the cigarette and show them how to take a real draw, I’m sure half of them would cough and spluter. But then every so often you come across a smoker who is sucking on that thing like his life depended on it and I think these real smokers need to be congratulated for not bowing down to peer pressure.  The choice to kill themselves slowly has been taken by them and no one else and they need to be acknowledged for there bravery and of course stupidity.

This cigarette phenomenon I see in China does not only exist here it’s everywhere,  it’s just there are so many here and you really notice it. I’ve come to China to teach English but I’m thinking of opening a Smoking School because I feel there is quite a big market here. And of course I would love to document this expression.

I do like walking and until I can source another mode of transport this is what I do. They have “Boris Bikes”here but I haven’t got myself a travel card yet that allows me to use them and to be honest the last time I used them I thought I had broken my knees. They are a wee bit small, I guess they’re designed for the Chinese form and not us lanky westerners. And by lanky I mean 176cm. That’s 5 feet 8 in in the old money. I would prefer to buy my own bike but I’m not sure how long I’m going to be here so I don’t want to spend $400 or $500 on a decent bike. So until I decide Shanks Pony it is. 

There are other options but the only problem is that my Chinese is rubbish. Buses seem to go everywhere but it’s getting to know where they go. My guide Simon has been busy with work and I haven’t been able to get a lesson on how to work the local map system on my phone. As you know Google does not work here.  I’m really not sure if it’s because the Chinese fell out with them or the fact that Google just seems to be way better in so many ways.  Google maps and Google translate are great and i think more accurate than their Chinese counterparts. But until then I will need to learn more Chinese and also learn to read more of the characters. 

So I went off on a different direction and my goal was Jinji Lake which I managed to find after the usual hiccup of going 180 degrees in the wrong direction.  I’m not sure why this is happening? old age maybe, but I have my own theory which I have mentioned before but no harm in imparting this piece of wisdom once more. It goes like this, I was born in the northern hemisphere and so my internal compass is developed from birth. But I have lived almost half my life in the southern hemisphere and so my internal compass had adapted to life there.  China is in the northern hemisphere but my internal compass is fighting against my location and getting confused and it always seems to be 180deg out.  The same thing happened when I was in London but as long as I didn’t look at the map and just listened to instructions I was OK. Here because I have to look at the map my brain is getting it wrong, either that or it’s the onset of K.R.A.F.T.disease.

I made it to Jinji Lake.

Jinji Lake has been a part of Suzhou for a long long time but in recent years had been developed into a place of leisure and of course a place to live. When you walk around the lake you will spot many weird and wonderful statues or sculptures, in fact all over Suzhou you will find hidden gems.

There was even a Tally van

It is of course another oasis in this very large city. To be honest there are many places to go here  Suzhou has a lot of choice and is quite a nice city. I haven’t been here quite two weeks yet and it’s been good to find a few places where I can escape the chaos of my neighbourhood. Maybe I’ll stay a bit longer. ….

I found a Subway in my travels today and so I had a foot long steak and cheese with all the usual bits and pieces on it  even the Southwest sauce. 

It’s exactly the same as the Subway in the Swich although there were no fat people in singlets. In fact as you can see there were no people at all. The prices are the same as the west which for here is quite expensive but at $8 it was good to have some familiar food. 

And it was quite tasty and filled a space which is always a good thing. I will be back. 

At most train stations and metro underground stations there are security checkpoints just like the airport. Your bags go through the x ray scanner which I think is a good thing,  however this morning the steadfast security officer was catching up on last nights sleep. It’s good to know we are in safe hands…….

Well that’s how many steps I have done so far today and my feet are complaining ever so slightly. I had a late start to the day and I wandered off to explore the neighbourhood. I headed in the direction which I new would take me to the moat that surrounds old Suzhou. I crossed it and continued down the street passed many small food shops so I stopped for some mid morning dumplings. These dumplings were in a bowl of spicy soup called Jin Tai Jaozhi, absolutely delicious.

When I finished I headed back to the moat. On my first crossing I noticed a foot path along the side of the river so it seemed like a good idea to follow it to see where it went. So I started walking clockwise around the moat.

So I came across this sign quite near the start of the walk and I thought to myself that I would walk around the moat. The first thing I noticed was that the gardens and the river walk were very peaceful.  No bloody car horns or traffic noise, this was great.  At last I have found a form of sanctuary not too far from my apartment. 

I must admit at the start it seemed like a great idea and even when I got to the half way mark I was still feeling fresh. My feet were still happy and I had even worn my thick socks and I hiking boots, so why shouldn’t they be happy. 

At the 3/4 mark I thought that maybe I should have taken the short way home when I had a chance but I have passed the point of no return so I don’t have a choice. 

I continued to walk and block out the complaints from my feet. Every step took me one step closer to home so I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. And then to my surprise I see a building that I recognise, I saw it yesterday,  it’s Suzhou University. Not far now. The pace slows but the end is in sight so all is well.

I complete the loop of the moat and feel quite chuffed and relaxed because I haven’t had to listen to the bloody traffic horns. I’ve had peace and quiet for hours and managed to listen to some music along the way. 

An early dinner I think because once the shoes are off today they will not be getting put back on. I wish I was back in Thailand so that I could get a foot massage ’cause my feet are not very happy. 

Once my feet have been set free they seem to settle and I think a good rest is in order and maybe even a single malt to ease the pain.