I’m peddling like billy-o, racing towards the first corner. I manage to get round without losing too much momentum and scream along passed the house dodging the rainbow looking python slithering along the ground. It seems totally unfazed.

I’m not sure who I’m racing but I know I’m going to beat them to the finish line. Before I can find out I wake up and realise that I need to go to the loo.

It’s just after four in the morning. It’s cold so it’s great to climb back into a warm bed.

In the distance the sound of burning rubber. Tyres screaming for mercy as someone punishes them The sound is getting louder.

About 5 minutes later there is an all mighty bang and the bedroom is illuminated as the sensor lights switch on. Outside there is a car half way up on the grass strip outside the gate. My Mum’s Frangipani tree is lying on the driveway.

The purple XR6 Ford is at right angles to the fence; the nose is dented and is sitting where the tree once stood. The guy, Bruce, clambers out of the car and keeps telling me how sorry he is. The smell of booze is heavy in the air and Bruce is telling me that he is really a nice guy and he’s so sorry.

I ask him to pull the tree off the driveway and he does, all the while giving me commentary. He tells me he was looking for his wife and then once more falls back into the apologetic drunk.

He digs out his licence and tells me that he just lives around the corner………I thought the car looked familiar.

Initially I’m wondering why he just doesn’t reverse it off the grass and piss off. I walk to the passenger side of the car and see the reason why. It looks like he clipped the other tree first, this explains why the wheel is buckled and the suspension is hanging off, this car ain’t going anywhere.

“I’ll call the police” he says…..”Good idea” me says.

“I’ll call the tow truck and get it removed”……..”That’s great” I say.

I hear a couple of doors unlocking in the street but no one else ventures out but at least they are keeping eye on the situation.

He hands me his licence and I take a picture of it and then he casually walks away into the night.

I’m shivering as the adrenalin begins to wear off. I go back upstairs and look for the local number for the police.

I can’t believe he has knocked my Mum’s tree over. I planted it in 2004 after I returned from Scotland, a symbol of my love for my Mother. To make me feel connected to her spiritually instead of physically. 17 years it has stood outside my front gate, surviving the great flood of 2011 and the many council diggers that wanted to just run over it when they were clearing the rubbish from the streets. There was also many years of drought but the Frangipani got bigger and stronger through it all only to be cut down by a drunken Bruce in a purple XR6.

The tree saved further damage from occurring. It stopped that Ford in its tracks. If it had not been there I think it would have ended up in my front yard or next doors for that matter. Maybe me Ma is still looking after me.

The police assistance line is 131444, took me a while to find this. As I searched on my phone Google kept on telling me to dial 999, my VPN was still connected.

Looks like the next door neighbour had already reported the incident and around 15 mins later the police arrive and ask me twenty questions. They then head over to catch up with Bruce.

I go back to bed but can’t sleep. It’s the back of 5 and I have to go to work this morn, only 3 ½ hours but I would rather stay in bed. I’m up at 7am and must have dozed off a little. I no sooner switch on the kettle when I hear the door being thumped.

The police have returned and tell me that Bruce denies all knowledge of crashing his car and insists that his car was stolen, plus he was very aggressive and not the friendly chap that I encountered hours before. They take my details and show me a picture of someone and ask me if that’s him, I say “I think so”

“Would I be happy for them to talk to me in the weeks to come and look at a few more pictures?” “Sure “I say.

They then tell me that he has a list of convictions as long as his arm and if I get any hassle from him or anyone else, call 000.

That’s just charming me thinks.

Breakfast, shower and then off to work. I’m telling the guys at work of this morning’s events.

I then decide that when the police return and ask me for a statement or to look at pictures, I will not. At the end of the day he has lost his car, caused himself a lot of grief and I really don’t see that me helping the police will do any good. It will go to court and he’ll get a fine. The amount of time and energy wasted to give Bruce a slap on the wrist is just not worth it. No one else was hurt from this event.

Yes he knocked down Mum’s tree, but I have replanted it in the back yard where I am hoping it will take root. And you never know, maybe the root system of the tree at the front of the house might sprout and live on. Either way I’ve decided not to take it any further, nothing will be gained from it.

Even if Bruce gets a driving ban or a fine from what the police are telling me I don’t feel that it’s going to be a deterrent for him anyway, so what’s the point. People like Bruce are not going to change.

And so and eventful weekend five years to the day that I headed off business class to the UK on a one way ticket. Looking forward to doing that again soon.

A new home…..