I came here a few years ago and you were able to go up to the top and walk around. There was even a cafe that sold really expensive coffee.  I remember paying around  $6 or so for the cheapest one on the menu. Now this double Tower Bridge is no more than a folly and a back drop to many wedding albums. 

One of the wonderful things about using public transport in Suzhou is that they play Tom & Jerry cartoons on the buses and the metro. 

I grew up watching them and they look as good today as they did when I was a kid. Mind you Mrs Whitehouse tried to have them banned because apparently they were too violent and of course kids like me might be adversely affected and become serial killers. Well I’m not a serial killer yet.

You can often see Tom & Jerry on TV in other Asian countries and you know it looks great with  any backdrop and most folk love it. I watched a young Chinese kid laughing at Tom when he ran into the wall for the umpteenth time while trying to catch  Jerry. I never tire of it, but I do like it when Tom finally gets the better of Jerry on the odd occasion.

 More importantly it spans the test of time. Tom & Jerry have longevity and they will be around long after everyone living today are no more than a thought or a piece of dust blowin’ in the wind.

The tomb of of the Emperor Wu was discovered at Tiger Hill many years ago. Tiger Hill has a history stretching back 2500 years. There are many gardens and features to explore along the way. There is even a Leaning Tower of Suzhou right on top of the hill and this structure dates from about 1000 years ago.

There are too many places and features to list here so if you want more information then do a Google on Tiger Hill.

Yesterday the sun was shining and it felt really good to be out in the sunshine without having to wear layers of clothing. The cold wind from the north has finally abated and it’s very pleasant. All around Suzhou you will see the first signs of spring with the plum blossom starting to flower.

Jelly Fish

Mango Fish

Spicy Eel 

Why do people lose the power to walk when they reach an escalator or one of the travellators you often find in airports and shopping centres  It seems to be a common phenomenon no matter where you go.  Surely not everyone can be a lazy bastard or is there more to it. Is there some mystical reason behind this, a force field maybe that immobilises them. All of a sudden they lose the ability to function like a normal human being and are transformed into a statue or what I like to call, a fuckin pain in the arse.

I can understand if you are shoving a trolley ’cause you got no choice but why just stop.  In China many folk don’t have the same etiquette, as say on the London Tube where if you don’t keep to the one side then someone will rip your throat out or at least a prod you and give you dirty look. So here, the whole escalator will be blocked by individuals staggered up its length and this makes for interesting shoving when you squeeze through. 

It’s even more ridiculous when you get beaten in a race for the escalator only for said person to come to an abrupt halt. I must admit I have been guilty of this a few times in my life but surely not everyone I come across is doing this for the very first time. I mean the odds against that would be a astronomical, wouldn’t they? 

By all means enjoy a moment of joy and wonder as you magically move whilst standing still. In this moment you can look at Facebook or the news or all the selfies you’ve taken that day and if you do decide to stand still when you venture out and about then please make sure you stand to one Fuckin side!!!

We’ve only been travelling for about an hour and it’s been a harrowing experience. Dave is driving and he is fuckin scary to say the least. He has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. On the highway he is not happy to stick to one lane but instead straddles two of them and then has the cheek to blast his horn when someone else comes to close to him.  You can see he can’t focus on the driving but instead changes the music or opens the sunroof. The car is rarely held in a straight line and his speed can vary from 70kph to 120kph. He’ll take his foot of the throttle and coast.He sits in the outside lane most of the time and so most folk pass us on the inside,  mind you it sounds like he could easily drive in Australia 😆

Up ahead the sign says that the next service centre is about 5km away but we are still in the outside lane even although there is no traffic nearby in the other two lanes. There are plenty of signs giving the countdown to the services exit but Dave is oblivious to them all.  Now I know they want to stop, but I say nothing when we pass the 500m mark and then with about 200m to go he attempts to cut across from the outside lane to make the exit but we slow from 100kph down to about 50kph and start to move across, it’s at this point I shout keep going because I’m quite aware of the traffic around us but I don’t think Dave has used the mirror since he combed his hair. So fuckin scary. When he changes lanes it’s not a subtle gradual line but instead the wheel almost does a quarter turn. Thankfully we carry on to the next service station but this time I tell him in plenty of time about the exit and of course Rita is sitting in the back and I think she is as worried as I am.  Even although I was shitting myself I didn’t go to the loo but my spirits lifted when Rita was volunteered to take over the driving. 

So we’re on our way back and my blood pressure, heart rate and anxiety levels have returned to a more comfortable level. So I’m thinking, in 3 hours I’ll be home, having a hot shower,  clean clothes and a warm bed, but just as I am enjoying this thought I get told that we will stop at Dave’s sisters house for lunch. I don’t want to I want to go home. But lunch was good and I was hungry so c’est la vie.

Back on the road again and the nightmare resumes once more as Dave takes the wheel for the next 50km to home. He misses a turn off even although the gps is telling him where to go and so I get my phones gps running so I can keep track.  Like most Chinese he drives as if he is the only vehicle on the road. Has no sense of self or others. My gps tells me 5km to go and so my spirits lift when I can see only 3 more turns. We exit the freeway and come down to a set of traffic lights which are red but that’s ok because we are turning and you still can turn on a red. You know, he turned on to that road and did not even check to see if any traffic was coming, he just went straight on without a care in the world. I however was keeping an eye on things and thankfully no one was there, thankfuck. Of course this kind of behaviour is not just in China, you see it all over Asia,  but to be in car with someone doing it is a  different kettle of fish. I’ve never been so glad to get my feet back on terra firma. Ah need a drink!!

So I’m not able to go to the Bathhouse so I decide to give the auxsters and face a quick rub so it’s taps aff even although it’s fuckin freezin, but I think I’m beginning to smell but I don’t think anyone cares ’cause we’re drinking so much white spirit. I must admit I care a wee bit. 

But it’s just above freezing and it’s quite invigorating, but it’s not something I want to do every day. 

The fireworks have been going all night and I haven’t really slept since about 3am and today is going to be a big day. After breakfast we head about 30 mins north to Lobster Town,yes that’s right Lobster Town. They breed lobster here in large quantities. This is where one of the many relatives live and the one that will host today’s events.  They live on the top floor of an apartment block. From the outside it looks like an old dreary building but inside it is tastefully decorated and it’s lovely and warm which is great.

Many family members arrive and then after about 20 mins or so everyone starts to pile out the door,  we’re leaving.  We get to the restaurant and it’s very fancy. Up to the second floor and into the large room. We take up 3 tables so I guess there must be about 40 guests or more.

There’s food already on the table which is a small selection of what’s to come.  I’m at the head table as a guest of honour and I sit beside the 2 brothers that head the family.  The first thing that’s done when we sit is that the wine is brought out, this is Chinese wine which is white spirit.

I’ve never been a lover of white spirits but this is very nice.  I’m told that it’s very strong and if I don’t want to do the bottoms up no one will be offended. But to my credit I think I kept up and I felt ok. The other thing they dished up was cigarettes.  Packets of them are dumped on the table and almost everyone lights up. This is the second thing that I don’t like here especially at meal times. The noises and ciggies. Even when I did smoke I’ve never understood why you light up between courses,  but here it’s more than that it’s like a ritual.

I ate most of the food that came out apart from the chicken feet and the fish. The meal was great and there was plenty of drinking done and then we all headed for the KTV or karaoke to you and me.

The Chinese like their karaoke and they like it loud. It was only a matter of time before I got called up but I’m afraid the choice of English songs is very small and so they pick a Lana Delray song that I’ve heard but it’s not easy to sing. The good thing is only about 3 people understand English and so I look and sound like a superstar or maybe I’ve still got to much of that white booze in my system.

It’s late afternoon and the sun is going down,  it’s been a long day.  There are a few casualties from the booze but I’m still waiting for it to kick in and do some damage but I’m feeling ok. When we get back home we have some tea and it’s back to the reality of the cold house.  But most people are tired and so it’s an early night. I listen to BBC radio 2, the wonders of the Internet and a VPN in rural china.  On another note it’s a sad day this week because after 30 years Alex Lester will not be on in the middle of the night on the BBC. I’ve listened to him for years in Australia and any other part of the world I’ve been in. Not sure what the BBC are thinking.

Anyway the fireworks have started once more as my head hits the pillow so Happy New Year.