Chat GPT translated my post to Scottish………

Gawn tae the library’s usually sound, right? Quiet, calm, books, aw that civilised shite. But having tae drag masel through the shoppin centre first is like being marched through purgatory by some twisted cosmic bailiff. You’re no even two steps in the door and you’re surrounded by this aimless herd of wobblin bodies, aw movin at half-speed, like they’ve been tranquillised for everyone’s safety—including their ain.

They waddle aboot, these units, drifting intae ma path every five seconds, sniffing for snacks like bored pandas. Half of them are already eatin as they walk, toppin up the calories like they’re worried they’ll collapse before they reach the car park. Oversized water bottles clutched tight—pure “hydration queens”—but you just know the contents are ninety-eight per cent sugar and one per cent self-delusion.

Then there’s the fashion. Christ. Lycra stretched so thin it’s practically screamin for help. Moo-moos everywhere—massive polyester tents billowing like somebody cut up a cargo parachute. Probably aw ordered from the same three quid warehouse in the arse-end of the Internet. Curtain department might’ve had a sale, right enough.

Baggy shorts hangin halfway doon their arses, like they’re lettin the baws get some airflow. Fair play, though—summer humidity in this place is like bein slow-cooked in a human stew.

And of course ye cannae get through the mall without the charity bairns tryin tae save the planet through pure optimism alone. Wee shiny-faced zealots bouncin up tae you:
“Do ye care aboot polar bears, sir?”
Aye pal, but I also care aboot payin the leccy bill, so gie’s a break, eh?

But the best tribe, the one that really brightens your day, are the walking canvases. Every inch of skin blasted wi ink, declarations tae the world that they’re “unique” even though every one of them looks like they were tattooed by the same blind apprentice on his second day.

There’s this guy on a scooter—midlife crisis on wheels—covered head tae ankle in tattoos. Except the forehead and a wee patch under the beard, these weird islands of pasty flesh like unfinished paintwork. You’re lookin at him thinkin: mate, did the artist run out of ink, or did you lose consciousness halfway through?

Now, I dinnae hate tattoos. Some of the Yakuza stuff? That’s art. Proper mythic, deep stuff. Ritual. Craft. Meaning. But this? This mall shite? Looks like half these folk got hammered, passed out in the tattooist’s chair, and woke up lookin like the back page of a 90s sticker book.

Then there was the lassie—Christ almighty. Full body mural. Skin absolutely rammed wi dark ink, every inch scribbled ower like a notebook belonging tae an angry teenager. Nose pierced wi some gold dog-bone thing, like she’d robbed the pet aisle. Handy for snot, maybe. I could never go near it; my nose produces enough mucus tae fill a paddling pool. Ren & Stimpy once said ye could “surf the backwash”—aye, that’s me on a bad day.

Finally made it tae the library, sanctuary of the sane. Picked up Irvine Welsh’s The Long Knives—same characters as Filth, so I’m expectin blood, filth, moral corrosion, the usual cheery stuff. I’ll no spoil the opening scene, but if ye’ve got a weak stomach maybe read it near a toilet.

Dropped aff Dead Men’s Trousers anaw—breezed through that one, sittin up half the night till ma eyes went blurry. Proper page-turner.

But the real highlight? The wildest part of the whole trip? A steam train, an actual steam train, chuggin through the heart of the shopping centre like it missed its turn at 1910 and jist kept goin. Folk barely looked up. That’s the modern world for ye—steam locomotive in the mall and everybody’s too busy crashin intae each other tae notice.

Going to the library, via the shopping centre is not one of my favourite things to do, going to the library however is.

There’s just too many people for starters, and as they amble and waddle along they just get in my way.

Mind you there is plenty to look at or should I say stare at. I often wonder why there are so many fat folk, surely it’s not all medical issues causing this and of course the answer is no! Many of those waddling along are refueling themselves even as I speak, maybe they’re worried they’ll waste away before the finish shopping and get back to the car.

Many are clutching oversize water bottles, no doubt filled with coke. Lycra is in high demand here and being stressed to the extreme. Moo moo’s are also common and all seem to come from the same shop, don’t think you can get then on Temu, but they do sell curtains.

Baggy shorts set at half mast, I guess to allow more air flow around the genitalia, well it is summer and the humidity is through the roof.

It’s not for the faint hearted coming to the shopping centre. You also have those annoying young people that haven’t had their enthusiasm beaten out of them yet trying to convince you to give your money to Greenpeace or the Polar Bears, when most folk here have barely enough money for essentials. A sign of the times, to quote Prince.

There is another fascinating tribe here and that one is the one that likes to use the skin as a canvas, to experiment and to proclaim to the world that “I am an individual!”

I wasn’t sure what I was looking at when the not so young guy on a scooter was coming towards me. He’s wearing shorts and T-shirt, all flesh has tattoos, but I struggled to focus on his head, it’s only when he got closer I realised that his neck below is scruffy beard is also tattooed along with his forehead, which leaves this strange looking area of pasty white flesh staring out on the world.

I don’t have any tattoos myself, and have no desire at the moment to get one. I don’t dislike them, however I’ve not seen many in my life that I think enhance the subject or that I think are good. The Yakuza take it to the extreme of course and they are amazing, the colours and complexity along with meaning is stunning.

But none of that here, most of what is on show pails into insignificance. I don’t think I saw any that enhanced the individuals look or made them look interesting or exotic, In my head I wanted to ridicule and at the same time curiosity would lend me to ask them, why? Why that?

I’ve often said that it seems that they all go to the same tattoo artist that is just learning his craft and only has a few designs under his/her belt, but then once on a rare occasion you are provided with an artistic work of art strategically placed which makes you stare and admire rather than be repulsed. I’m not against body art but I think that most people in the shopping centre that day were either drunk or smoking crack or maybe both when they paid a visit to the “Tattoo Artist” and just picked a random selection and plastered them all over their bodies.

There was one young lady that obviously has had an existential crisis because not only was every available peace of skin on show covered with mostly dark colours, but her nose was pierced with what looked like a gold dogs bone which could help with snot removal maybe. I’d be in a hell of a state if I got my nose pierced, most of the time the amount of snot my beak produces is quite unbelievable and to quote another pair of Icons…”Ren & Stimpy” who said that there was so much snot that you could surf the backwash………..

But I made it to the library and got my new book to read, which is another by Irvine Welsh….”The Long Knives” It’s the same characters from “Filth” but it is a lot easier to read although it gets off to a very gory start which I will not regale here, you can find out for yourself.

And I returned “Dead Men’s Trousers” which was a far easier read than “Filth” and I really enjoyed this one……..found myself at times reading till I was bleary eyed.

So the highlight of the trip by far was seeing the steam train going through the heart of the shopping centre, not everyday you are treated to this………..

The boss, of the bus company I work for, sent a text message the other day, it read…

So who would have thought eh? If your bus seems to be on fire, switch it off… Who would have thunk that? And maybe get your passengers off the bus or at least get ready to evacuate… not let them sit there in air conditioning comfort. Some folk are just Fucking amazing and never disappoint 😂

It turns out that there was an oil leak and the oil seeped into the exhaust and of course when it got hot it began to burn but luckily there were no flames as such which would have been catastrophic.

The same driver, let’s call him Eegit, is a scatter brained creature. OCD or some other acronym applies. He seems to say, what I would class as inappropriate language with customers.

He’s 53 and single and is desperate to find a woman but at the same time criticises them for not giving him a second look. I’m not surprised! He’s a drinker or should I say a weekend binge drinker because he has to be sober during the week. However you only have to take one look at him to see the closest alcoholic. The beer gut, the fat face with a few tiny veins already making their mark and of course he smokes. He’s such a catch 😎

I personally don’t feel he should be driving a bus and I think the boss would move him along if it wasn’t so difficult to find another driver. Bus drivers are in high demand, there is a shortage of them, which is across the board really when it comes to skilled workers. There’s also a housing shortage and finding a trademan is next to impossible if you don’t know people. And even then you have to wait.

Bus drivers are on a minimum of $37 an hour although I think government drivers get paid more. If you want to find a tradesman, plumber or electrician then you are looking at over $100 an hour.

Again word of mouth or a recommendation is necessary because the climate is ripe for dodgy characters.

So far Eegit has had no other major dramas whilst driving but I think it’s only a matter of time before something gives.

On another note I’ve finished back filling the wall at the end of the shed and put down pavers over a ground sheet and I’ll finish it with gravel. Any further work on the main wall will have to wait till the Christmas holidays in about 5 weeks time.

The rain certainly greens the place up.

I got a cube of soil delivered on Friday so that I can begin to back fill the retaining wall beside the shed. I had to cover it with tarp because they predicted storms and rain over the next few days, however I thought it would be better to get it delivered in case the ground got too soggy.

So first thing this morning I began to shovel the dirt a wheelbarrow at a time and then I used the sledgehammer to compact it. I need to raise the level as much as 200mm in places. I worked for about three hours and was pleased with the results, but I’ll need another few hours to finish it. Because of the predicted storms I covered the area with sheets of bubble wrap just in case the rain washes away all my hard work.

The first storm hit at 1pm, and was fairly loud but not fierce. The second one arrived around 3pm and that packed more of a punch. I sat out on the deck keeping an eye on things while being serenaded by the young butcher bird. The Noisy Miners were trying to shelter on the deck too, but I took great pleasure in hosing them away. For the past few weeks they have been feeding their young and making one hell of a racket and so I’ve been using the garden hose to move them along. It’s getting to the stage that I just need to show my face and they bugger off. However when the rain is battering down they always seek shelter on the deck, now if they just sat there and shut their beaks then I would not need to remove them with the hose 😁 But I enjoy it!

So that was it for the day really, watched TV and ate, checked the house for any problems. Some water came in to the garage earlier but I managed to fix that and it didn’t cause a problem. When I insulated the wall a few months back I deliberately kept the sheets off the ground just for this scenario. Sometimes I might just be smart.

The third storm of the day arrived at 8pm and this one was fairly mild although the rain was pretty heavy for a while. We’ve been lucky here but a few miles away there has been a lot of hail which had caused a fair bit of damage. There were people hospitalised because they got hit with hail. They are predicting more storms through the night so I’ll be keeping the windows closed and my toes crossed that everything will be OK in the morning.

Sunday morning and all is well. No further storms to report and it looks like it will be dry. The humidity is rampant after the storms, however it’s only 26C so I’ll head out on the bike for a wee run. I only cycled around 17KM but because I have been able to use the large front cog again then my speed has increased somewhat and it my cadence feels a lot more natural. I’ve increased my speed by about 5kph and I’m not even trying. Of course this will allow me to cover a greater distance. Today I wanted to get a few other things done so one hour or so was sufficient.

Click the play button above……Not the big green one but the wee one on the left 😁

After lunch spent a bit of time in the garden filling the green bin and then moving some pavers that Mick does not need anymore. I’ll need to get back into moving the soil by the shed and once I’ve reached the desired levels I’ll use the pavers that I’ve pinched from Mick. It should get drier closer to the end of next week and then I can move on to other things. Glad to see that the bubble wrap worked a treat, so I’ll just leave it in situ until I can get back to finishing it off.

It’s 59 days to Christmas and it’s beginning to warm up. I’ve been looking at the weather forecast because I want to get a cube of soil for the garden, however I don’t want to get it delivered if it is going to rain for a week and unfortunately, it’s a coming.

On Saturday I eased into the day, went into the library to return my book titled “Filth” written by Irvine Welsh. It’s quite the read! This has got to be one of the most disgusting, disturbing books that I have read in a long time, but I loved it because I can relate to much of the content and it reminds me of the world that I grew up in. I don’t mean that I am like the character, however I knew folk like him and just the language and sexism is so refreshing compared to world we live in today. It was not an easy read; it took me a few weeks to get through it due to the stomach-churning events. Definitely not for the faint hearted.

In the afternoon I did a few jobs in the garage that I have been putting of for way too long. The architraves around the window and hanging a curtain was the priority due to the anticipated rising temperatures during the day. This window is on the eastern wall and so it gets the sun from very early in the morn. This is the wall that I sheeted and insulated earlier in the year and does it make a difference…….so much easier to keep the house comfortable even on the hottest days.

Sunday up at the crack of 7am and after a slow start out on the bike. Took a route that I haven’t done in years, still local but it has many hills. The hills were not really the problem; the heat was the problem. The air temperature didn’t feel that bad, it was the UV I think that was like a knife to the skin. Even my headgear was getting hot. They were predicting afternoon storms and they came to pass late afternoon. One of the worst storms that we have had in many a longtime. The hail combined with the winds made for a very noisy and house shaking wild ride.

The power went off minutes after the storm passed as a huge clap of thunder resonated nearly overhead. The power was off until about 2am when I was awoken by the sound of the doorbell ringing. It’s plugged into the mains and very loud. But at least I knew I could make my toast and have coffee for breakfast rather than having to have cold pizza. Oh yes, I got a pizza after my bike ride even although I didn’t ride that far, it was a fast-food weekend after all.

Today Monday, back to work and the temperature reached 38C. The humidity was only 20% which was quite amazing after yesterday’s mental storms. There is more rain on the way this week and the temps are supposed to fall which is great news, but I think I will have to postpone the delivery of me topsoil. So,…….. only 59 days till Christmas…………….

The temps have been rising this week, although not unbearable. Mind you, the sun through the bus window when I’m heading west, is extremely hot and as long as the air con is working I can tolerate for the short time that it takes to get back.

The back room that leads to the deck has a sliding door and I always leave it open, but a cat at some point has pissed at the door and the room now smells of Fucking cats. I bought a can of spray which is supposed to negate the cats urine, so far I’ve sprayed it twice and there is still a whiff of cat through the apple spray enzyme killer. I think it will take a few more weeks to finally eradicate it. I might have to get the carpet steam cleaned.

I bought some Dogbane or coleus canina whose smell apparently annoys cats and therefore they should stay away. I have two plants at the back door and I’m hoping that they work. I have another coleus in the garden that I’ll put in pots and leave near the bottom of the stairs because they have a similar smell. I personally would rather bump it off but that might be too much paperwork and drama.

Friday was a busy day and so Saturday turned out to be a lazy day partly due to the weather. It was hot hot hot. Air conditioning was on early in the day, however I had to venture out for an hour or so to back fill the retaining wall behind the shed before the rain came. They were predicting storms and of course they were correct. About an hour after I had shifted the earth the hail, winds and rain came thundering through.

After the storm the temps fell and it was a lot more pleasant. No damage thankfully, although the downpipe at the front of the house came loose, I’d forgotten to glue it into place, I shall do that this week. So many jobs to do around the place.

Sunday morning was overcast and cool and prefect for a wee jaunt oot on the bike. I did just over 20km and got back before it got too hot. After lunch did the shopping and then back to the air conditioning. Oh it’s Jacaranda season 😁

I saw this show advertised last week and I thought, I’m going to buy a ticket… and so I did.

It’s been a busy few weeks, even although I’ve had no work for two weeks. Last week I went back to work, which is good ’cause I need the money.

I’m back driving the bus and between shifts I’ve been finishing off the retaining wall and fixing the stormwater pipe which was cracked and I think this is part of the reason why the ground level has been dropping causing the shed slab to crack. Well I’m really hoping that this will fix the problem. It’s been a lot of heavy work and my body has suffered and it’s taken a few days to recover sometimes.

So getting back to the concert. I like Pink Floyd, I’ve listened to them for most of my life, at least over 50 years. I know almost every note, the lyrics and the way it makes me feel. I’ve never been lucky enough to see the original band and of course it’s too late now.

The show got off to a bad start, an omen indeed. The two lead guitarist were silent, but this was rectified after about ten minutes and they started again. You can forgive this technical issue, gremlins can be anywhere.

What I struggled with from the beginning was the feeling that they were not playing in sinc. The drummer was about a heartbeat out of kilter. Everyone in the band could obviously play their instruments, however I struggled with the interpretation of the music and of course the out of sinc playing . And then there were the two drunks sitting in front that also added to the ambience. One of them turned round and looked at me and I mouthed “Shut the Fuck Up!”

The interval couldn’t come soon enough, and when it did I left and headed home. I noticed that another couple that had been sat in the same row as me also had enough and were heading for the hills.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that Ipswich was still very lively at night, and it feels very safe too. Many of the restaurants were full, great news for the Swich.

At home I watched YouTube for a while and then headed to bed because I want to go out on the bike Sunday, which I did. Only a short run, but it was good to get out because last week I had no energy to go anywhere.

on the 11th of August this year I got the train from Glasgow Central to Chippenham, I may have mentioned this before of course. However, as we all know by now the train journey did not go to plan. I got chucked off the train at Stafford and had to find my own way to Chippenham, well with a lot of help from my friend Roseanne.

She was the one that told me that I could claim for a refund due to the delay that I endured, however the funny thing is that I was only about 10 mins later than the original time at Chippenham where I alighted.

When I got home, I applied via the website (19th Aug) and that was where the saga began. My first claim was rejected as it did not meet the criteria. I got an email from Sasha in customer service and she explained that I had filled the form out incorrectly and if I submit it once more then I should be ok because she confirmed that my train was running late.

I did as advised and once more my claim was rejected. I did another one and that too got refused. I emailed Sasha to give her an update and she asked me to submit another claim with a few amendments and if I had any more trouble she would assist me.

I was getting a wee bit pissed off by now as you can imagine, and guess what my fourth claim was refused. I emailed Sasha with a very short email saying that the AI Bots had once more refused my claim even although I had been told by Avanti that my train had been late. She asked me to give her a breakdown of my plan B trains and times if possible, to assist with the claim. Luckily, I still had the conversation on Messenger between Roseanne and myself with the trains she told me to take and so it was a relatively easy process to get the train times.

By this time I had lost all hope of a positive resolution but was merely going through the process to see what the outcome would be, was it going to be futile?

Now was I surprised today (30th Sep) when I got an email from the wonderful Sasha to tell me that my claim has been successful and I will get a 50% refund for my ticket because my train was delayed from 30 mins to 59 mins and this equates to a 50% refund. £69.03

It only took 6 weeks from my first interaction with Avanti and part of the reason I think for this crazy fiasco is that the claim website is not well designed. When you fill out the claim you need to put in the details of the train journey. On the first occasion I entered the amended journey that I was forced to take and of course this was wrong. So, then I entered my actual journey and was told that there had been no problem even although by now I had been told by Avanti that my train had been delayed. Go figure. There are only around 200 characters I believe where you can give an explanation which of course is not sufficient. So thankfully Sasha stepped in and I was able to explain in detail what had happened.

So there you go, persevere and you sometimes have a win.

One of the best and most interesting places I have visited in years. Paul Lyons, our tour guide for the day was just magic. Magnificent even. His wealth of experience and Glasgow patter made the experience one of the highlights of my trip.

He started off by saying that there were 48,000 panes of glass in the roof, which by the way need to be kept clean. Not a job I would want to do.

In this old platform above, they will hopefully relay the track and put in a steam train, they already have the train so they are just waiting for the track to be laid.

Almost all of the original station from the Victorian times is there. The huge hollow girders that you can actually climb into, not by the tourist of course, but by those who inspect and look after this masterpiece. Paul told us that the rivets were perfectly formed even although they are not on view. This is the pride and workmanship that the Victorians had that we had sadly lost.

We explored the lower levels where you can see more of this brilliant design. When we were told some of the stats about the weight above us and how nothing has changed then it just shows you the genius of the Victorians. At every turn and room, the stories and anecdotes were coming thick and fast and the laughter was infectious.

He also told us that anything built after 1960 seems to be where issues arise from, the older build is just the same as the day it was built. This is a very common thing within the UK as a whole. Blocks of flats built in Glasgow in the 60’s have been and gone, built and then raised to the ground in seconds only to be replaced. Pride in workmanship just does not seem to exist due to the levels of greed and corruption which is not only a Uk thing but worldwide.

One of the more solemn parts of the tour, where we entered the small museum which is a work in progress. Paul is very passionate about his role as historian and is stories and personality are what makes this tour all the better. But as we stood in front of this video being projected behind Paul showing the names and addresses of all the Glaswegians that were killed in World War One, he was moved to tears…..it was a very poignant moment.

Was the sacrifice of these men in vain? The world seems to be on a knife’s edge once more as the fascist and dictators return globally.

The Motto on the Caledonian Railway Company is “Nemo me impune lacessit”, which translates to “No one attacks me unpunished“

It also happens to be the motto of Scotland 🙂

I should have also mentioned that a year ago Paul fell and broke his back and spent nearly 8 months in recovery. He is on pain medication still and at the end of the tour he was obviously in pain and the only reason I know this was that as we were just about to leave I saw him looking as if he was in pain. I asked him if he was ok? and he said that he will be after he takes a couple of wee tablets. Every day he does this tour he is a force of nature and you would never know that this gentle giant had suffered so much over the past year. I’m not easily impressed by folk, however Paul Lyons is one man that is at the top of my list.

If you wish to book your tour then go to the website below and have an experience that you’ll never forget…

https://www.glasgowcentraltours.co.uk/

Well, the sun is still shining and that’s why I am surprised that my nose is running like a waterfall. It’s a three-day weekend and I had things to do and no people to see so it was a perfect weekend. Friday morning woke up and the snot had begun then followed by the coughing. Drugs were taken and for the most part did nothing. The anti-histamine was no match for the torrent of snot.

I persevered and ventured to the garden where I proceeded to fill the green bin. Cut down the agave’s and filled up the green bin. I wonder what the weight limit is on those things?

Saturday was mostly nothing…..

Sunday, I pushed on and went out on the bike. First time for a couple of weeks and I really wanted to get back into training for the longer runs while the weather is fine. My legs are just not up to a forty K ride and neither is me bum, so a few rides are needed to get bike ready.

However, I headed east this time and round a few back streets that I don’t normally go through, mostly to stay away from the traffic but also to go somewhere different. I found a new shortcut path in the industrial area which I will use again because it cuts out a fair bit of dodgy road.

I only did 15km and felt fine, I could have easily done a lot more……mind you there were very few hills on this route so that makes a difference. Back in the house and it was double hamburgers for lunch.

I did the shopping after my shower because I need to go and get drugs, kill two birds with one stone etc. By this time, I had used half a box of tissues and my nose was worse than Rudolph’s. The snot was abundant and my nose was just not big enough to get rid of it all and so it went down my throat which caused the coughing to ensue. It felt that I was about to bring up a lung, my toes were tingling with the violence of each bout. At one point I even stuffed tissues up my nose to stem the flow and had to repeat that process few times. It was such a delightful evening and I was just waiting till about 9pm so that I could dope myself up and go to bed.

I only took one cold and flu tablet but it was just enough to allow me to sleep until about 5am, I never heard next door go out on his bike at 4am ……win win!

Now it’s Monday and I do feel a lot better although the body is feeling a little bit worse for wear. I didn’t use any drugs today; I can’t really when I’m going to drive the bus. Apart from my nose feeling a little bit tender I am surprised that my back feels as if I have had a major workout. All that coughing yesterday had made me use muscles in my back that haven’t been used for a while, I mean I didn’t do any heavy lifting so all I can think is that because the coughing was so violent I have given my body quite the shock.

I’ll go to bed in a couple of hours and I will not take any drugs this evening either. Mind you my back might also be sore from lying in bed too much last night and I am sure by tomorrow it will be fine.