We’ve only been travelling for about an hour and it’s been a harrowing experience. Dave is driving and he is fuckin scary to say the least. He has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. On the highway he is not happy to stick to one lane but instead straddles two of them and then has the cheek to blast his horn when someone else comes to close to him.  You can see he can’t focus on the driving but instead changes the music or opens the sunroof. The car is rarely held in a straight line and his speed can vary from 70kph to 120kph. He’ll take his foot of the throttle and coast.He sits in the outside lane most of the time and so most folk pass us on the inside,  mind you it sounds like he could easily drive in Australia 😆

Up ahead the sign says that the next service centre is about 5km away but we are still in the outside lane even although there is no traffic nearby in the other two lanes. There are plenty of signs giving the countdown to the services exit but Dave is oblivious to them all.  Now I know they want to stop, but I say nothing when we pass the 500m mark and then with about 200m to go he attempts to cut across from the outside lane to make the exit but we slow from 100kph down to about 50kph and start to move across, it’s at this point I shout keep going because I’m quite aware of the traffic around us but I don’t think Dave has used the mirror since he combed his hair. So fuckin scary. When he changes lanes it’s not a subtle gradual line but instead the wheel almost does a quarter turn. Thankfully we carry on to the next service station but this time I tell him in plenty of time about the exit and of course Rita is sitting in the back and I think she is as worried as I am.  Even although I was shitting myself I didn’t go to the loo but my spirits lifted when Rita was volunteered to take over the driving. 

So we’re on our way back and my blood pressure, heart rate and anxiety levels have returned to a more comfortable level. So I’m thinking, in 3 hours I’ll be home, having a hot shower,  clean clothes and a warm bed, but just as I am enjoying this thought I get told that we will stop at Dave’s sisters house for lunch. I don’t want to I want to go home. But lunch was good and I was hungry so c’est la vie.

Back on the road again and the nightmare resumes once more as Dave takes the wheel for the next 50km to home. He misses a turn off even although the gps is telling him where to go and so I get my phones gps running so I can keep track.  Like most Chinese he drives as if he is the only vehicle on the road. Has no sense of self or others. My gps tells me 5km to go and so my spirits lift when I can see only 3 more turns. We exit the freeway and come down to a set of traffic lights which are red but that’s ok because we are turning and you still can turn on a red. You know, he turned on to that road and did not even check to see if any traffic was coming, he just went straight on without a care in the world. I however was keeping an eye on things and thankfully no one was there, thankfuck. Of course this kind of behaviour is not just in China, you see it all over Asia,  but to be in car with someone doing it is a  different kettle of fish. I’ve never been so glad to get my feet back on terra firma. Ah need a drink!!