Census day comes but once every 5 years or so. I remember the last one seemed to have many many questions but this one seemed a lot shorter. Of course, they ask the usual questions, name rank and serial number, but they don’t ask your shoe size or the size of anything else for that matter.

As I wandered through, I did think to myself that it was a bit invasive at times, but I suppose if they are trying to find demographics I guess they need to be. I did not tell them where I worked; I thought that was a bridge too far.

Normally when it comes to religion I proudly put down heathen but this year I decided to become a Pastafarian and I am hoping that in 100 years from now when they have access to all the data they will analyse this anomaly of why a Scotsman became a Pastafarian in 2021. Was it because of climate change or was he just drinking too much, maybe a mid life crisis. I did have many strange dreams about the Spaghetti monster though.

Of course, the day after the census, there were complaints from some sections of the community about not being represented, well mainly the gay really and the “others”

They got really hot and bothered because there were no questions relating to the LGBTQI+ABCGZXPEHBE communities specifically. At the end of the day, they are either male or female or maybe hermaphrodite or lizard, but if they are not sure then they can look at their genitalia and depending on what they see, tick the box M or F. It is not fucking difficult. If you are a hermaphrodite……….eenie meenie miney mo!

The LGBTQI+ABCGZXPEHBE community seems to seek attention at every opportunity and us “Normal” members of society that conform to the norms of a binary society are fed up hearing about them, yes we are………

I do not need to wear a shirt that says I am straight; I do not need a label to feel good or justify my existence. I don’t need a welcome sign on a shop door saying welcome.

Where does this all begin and end?

Businesses have “Proud” flags or symbols with tag lines saying welcome here. We do not need a fucking rainbow in the window or any other flag. It would be far easier to say “We’re not Proud and you are not allowed” as I assume they are a minority within the community. What other groups of people should we put on the window? It’s Fucking nonsense.

If they get their rainbow I want a Saltire!

Yes I know there is racism, bigotry, homophobia, we have all been guilty even the LGBTQI+ABCGZXPEHBE collective, but I think they are being Heterosexist. Yes no matter what corner we stand in we can point fingers and shout names and make fancy statements, some folk just do it too much and you wish they would just shut the fuck up.

I could not give a rat’s arse what your pleasure is, I do not need to know if you like dick or pussy, hell I don’t even care if you eat lamingtons, but for Christ sake geez peace and stop shouting and waving your technicolour dream coat………….