I got out on the bike this weekend. I went to the city, parked the car at Toowong Bus Station and then cycled down to the river. I got there around 7.30am, I usually go earlier but from past experience there have been too many lycra fuckwits and pelotons to contend with.

I had only cycled a few hundred meters when I met my first two wankers. I gave way to them as I entered the path that leads to a road crossing. The first guy all of a sudden stopped because there was a car in the distance coming towards us, the second ran into him. I could have just continued and got out of their way, instead I’m stuck behind them.

A few hundred meters further on someone else is cycling on the wrong side of the path. When I finally get onto Sylvan Road to head to the river I am then overtaken by another two lycra cunts that shout “Bike Right” I thought I was.

I hate these people and they are becoming more and more common. When I finally get onto the riverside path, I then have to contend with more of them, they just go way too fast for a shared bike path. There are people, scooters, and folk of all ages using this path and yet these lycra bastards don’t give a damn and continue to go full pelt. I only hope that I am there to witness once of them ending up in the river after bouncing off the large rocks on the riverbank.

This was my first ride in weeks and I kept it short. I only went to New Farm and back, which is around 25km and there are only a few hills to navigate. I seem to be getting slower each time I go out, this time I only averaged 12 kph, but that does not bother me because I go out for the enjoyment and exercise and I am in no rush to break any records. Years ago, I would try to go faster and harder. I would try to use a higher gear on hills and just generally push myself but now I go out for a Sunday drive as it were.

Even although there are many lycra clad wankers I still enjoy riding my bike and only wish I could get out more often. Autumn has begun and the fierce heat of the day has subsided making the ride a lot more enjoyable and easier. A few weeks ago, when I went out around Ipswich I nearly passed out due to overheating but now the temperature is around 25c, which is very pleasant.

Back at work today, Tuesday, and I really wish I had won the lotto over the weekend. I’m not enjoying this work things at all……………….