I came to Pattaya only out of curiosity as I had a few days free. Well it will be my first and last trip here. Apart from the abundance of sex on offer, which I grant you is not a bad thing, I really can’t see any other reason to come here but if that is all you are after then come and come again if you can, because Pattaya is the sex capital of the world so you don’t have to look very far.  There is a smorgasbord of sex, a plethora of women from all around the world that can look after you and satisfy your every need no matter how bizarre it may be and all they care about is the size of your wallet.

And there are a lot of tragics on both sides of the equation. If you come here you will see what can happen to you if you abuse your body for many years. There are some rough looking folk here, but it’s a great place to people watch. You can live out your every fantasy here and you will see guys walking along with maybe one or two women, guys that would not get as much as a smile from someone normally, but here they are happy and enjoying themselves for a small fee of course. Mind you I’ve never seen so much muscle and tattoos on display before either. Men strut their stuff almost everywhere in Pattaya and many can be seen preening themselves. I think David Attenborough should come here and do a documentary looking at the behaviours on display.

You can see the ones that spend a lot of time preening themselves making sure they are picture perfect. I saw this one bloke, he had his pink shirt, white shorts, matching bag and glasses and muscles everywhere. Not too sure what team he batted for because he looked like one of these gang bosses that you would see in a London gangster movie. But his whole image of the clothes and walking a had been practiced. It looked like every move was calculated for maximum effect to advertise his assets. And then of course you get the fat bastards that have just indulged all their lives and don’t really care about the body image at all but still  ask for diet coke. But in Pattaya image doesn’t matter really to score, because if you have a big wallet, you can buy what you want.

The beach at Pattaya is a thin strip of sand covered with umbrellas and you need to be up early to get one. But you can stay here all day and be fed, watered and even get a massage. Even here during the day you will find some Thai ladies ready to look after you for a fee. They will sit at the rear of the beach keeping an eye out for potential companions.

At night the esplanade has a shift change.I walked from central Pattaya along to Walking Street and along the way you will see many women of all ages and to my surprise nationalities. There was even a girl that looked as if she came from the middle east. They’re all shapes and sizes but they don’t harass you when you pass, if you make eye contact they will simply smile.
Meanwhile the men are pounding the strip having a look or trying to muster the courage to go up and talk to one of them. The men want to but there is a little fear or maybe guilt playing out in their head clouding their decision.But then a brave one will break ranks and claim his prize.

Every so often you come across a raised platform and this seems to be a meeting point for old men. I’ve never seen so many old guys just waiting for something to happen. Mind you a few of them were chatting up the ladies, still some life in a few of them.
This scene was repeated a few times as I strolled along towards walking street, but to me it seems a very sad existence. I would hate to end up sitting like one of these old men and if I do please shoot me.

But I did go to walking street which is on the sea front and you will see many weird and wonderful people. They’re certainly not shy in coming forwards here, in fact they are in your face. The scantily clad ladies are very young and advertise their wares and the club and the older ones tend to stay in the shadows. Although one of the ladies that does a Ping Pong show is quite happy to tell you what she can do. As I said you can indulge your every fantasy here and maybe a few new ones.

There are tour groups walking through. There are many Chinese tour groups all walking along behind the tour leader with his wee flag that they follow. There are so many Indian guys here too. When I went to India two years ago I’m reminded of the conversation I had with a couple of passengers. Two young guys on a very cheap package tour for 4 nights in Pattaya. It was costing them the same as I had paid for my flight. They had no idea what to expect and they had never had a girlfriend and now they are on their way to Pattaya. What a baptism of fire for them.

I could ramble for hours here but I will not. For me Pattaya was no more than to tick it off the list of places I’ve been to in life. There is nothing here to bring me back. If you want to have a bit more beach life then go to Jomtien a bit further south. It’s a bit quieter and not so tacky but again there are better places to spend your time and money in Thailand.