The last few days have been a bit strange, it feels like I have a weight around my body and it is slowing me down and I just can’t seem to find my way out of the a quagmire……..but there is no obvious reason to feel this way……..mind you the weather has been crap the last few days and it’s been pissing down and I think it is affecting my mood some how.

So today I got up and had breakfast and once more met another new guest that is staying at our Airbnb house and to be honest with you I think that this is part of the problem. I’m getting sick of seeing these different folk come through our house, as I’ve said before some are good, in fact most are good but there are a few fuckwits that just want to make you throw them over the balcony.

So I think a change is in order, the current accommodation, although comfortable and a great location might need to be changed. So after the park I went for a shower and had a shave and then when I was all squeaky clean I went out and about and went for lunch and after lunch I needed to do a bit of shopping.

On the way to the market a guy stopped to ask me for directions and then he said “oh sorry I didn’t realise you were a foreigner” I said no problem and I then gave him directions to the supermarket. My good deed for the day. A minute later I’m just about to cross the road and as I walked under the tree on the corner something large and wet hit me on the head. I looked to the ground and down my front and on my jeans there was a rather large bird shit, what a fuckin’ mess…………what had this bird been eating………why was there a bird in the tree in the first place because in Suzhou this is quite a rare sight. Wildlife is not common here and so I was really shocked when I got smacked by this absolutely massive shit. Thankfully I had a hat on because it would have made a hell of a mess and it would have been quite disgusting if I had to scrape it off me nut even although it was all nice and shiny after shaving it this morning.

Now I’m paranoid that I might have shit down my back and so I tried to take a few pictures of myself to see if there was any shit I may have missed. I had tissues and wet wipes thankfully in my bag which was miraculously clean. The front of my shirt and my left thigh are covered in muck and as I tried to clean it, it just spread into the jeans and looked even worse.

I was starving and so I decided to go to the restaurant anyway and then go home because my stomach felt like my throat had been cut and so I did go and had my favourite potato and beef and then I headed home.

As soon as I got home I stripped off me gear and stuck it into the washing machine and made sure there was not any little bits of shit that I had missed and then sat down for a delicious cup of coffee. And so they do say it is lucky to get hit by bird shit and so I hope that there is some good news on the horizon or maybe some new opportunities coming my way…………….but I should just add that this bird must have been massive or it had a bad case of the runs………….