It was just a quiet drink,

That’s what we said,

And before you know it,

My wallet’s dead,

A collection of glasses,

The proof of the night,

Am no looking forward to the morn,

‘Cause right now I feel like shite,

When I surface, the sun is up,

Scratching my een,

I’m scared to move,

The lump in my throat so far unseen,

One helluva drooth,

The body aches,

My heid is nippin’,

Fuck’s sake,

The alcohol, the Trojan horse,

Creator of so much discourse,

My world is spinning,

Vertigo abounds,

Stomach heaves and hits the ground,

I remember that curry,

Gees it back,

Gees some Bru,

To ease the fact,

The cure of all cures,

This sacred drink,

I need another slug ah canny think,

Ach that’s better, I feel brand new,

A greasy breakfast and then off to the loo,

Getting blootered is way more fun,

But in the morn you see the sun,

Jesus Christ just give me a break,

I’ll no do it again, please for fuck’s sake,

I promise I’ll drink water or lemon and lime,

Or Angostura bitters will do just fine,

Nae mair booze, fur me that’s it,

I’m too old for this game am a drunkin’ git,

Hanging off the bar, just like big Ian before,

Waffling on every night, what a fuckin’ bore,

It’s time to quit; I can do this now,

I have the will power; I’ll show you how,

A month has passed I’ve lost 5 kilo,

My wallet is happy and I feel more mellow,

I even can remember what I did last night,

A novelty you know, the booze is a blight,

But I enjoyed it at the time, but those days are gone,

So now I can laugh at others while I stay strong,