How I ended up in China when there is one thing in particular that really wants to give me the boak and that is the noises that are made when people are eating. Years ago I would never sit at the table in the house with the family whilst dinner was served because of the noise the old man made flapping his wallies around, this made me want to boak and maybe also smack him in the face, but that’s a different story. I deliberately stayed away from the table at every opportunity so that I did not have to endure that awful noise. I was told that I could not say anything to him and I’m not sure the real reason. Would he be upset or offended, a small price to pay I thought for my sanity. No one else enjoyed the noise he made either but they were able to tolerate it better than me. And so I began to sit away from the table or I would just come in late to avoid the drama. Christmas dinner was the only time that I was unable to escape the torture but then the alcohol seemed to numb the pain.
And so to the present day. I always have headphones with me and I usually have them in when I am eating out so that I can block out the rest of the noises in the restaurant and as I have mentioned before the blood has been pouring from my ears on many occasions just so that I could not hear the imbibing of soup or the other wonderful noises made whilst the meal is being devoured. Sissi’s mother is staying with us at the moment and she is a lovely lady but she is also a very traditional Chinese person that consumes her food with gusto and vigour and completely unaware of the noise pollution that she is creating in the process. there is absolutely nothing that is consumed that does not have a decibel rating close to driving me fucking mad.
In the morning I like to have breakfast in a quiet environment and ease into the day rather than be thrown into it. I like my brain to wake up in its own time and to listen to the birds singing and to feel and sense that satisfying crunch of my toast in my head. Now that the weather is warmer I can once again go outside and sit on the balcony and have breakfast but during the winter months this was not an option and so I was thrust into this chaotic sensory place where once again I had to dig out my head phones and listen to what was happening with Teresa May and Brexit. Not the best way to start the day.
And so as I said at the beginning I realy wonder what part of my brain decided that it would be a good idea to come to China when deep down it knew that this was waiting for me, sometimes it feels that I have ended up in purgatory but then as soon as I crank the headphones up to 11 all is well. Going deaf might be a small price to pay in the big scheme of things.
