I have a claim with Westpac Insurance which I submitted back in January and it still has not been resolved, well that’s not technically true because I was informed today that my claim had been finalised because the amount was under my $300 excess on my policy and so I can get lost and stop bothering them. and stop “bothering them” is the way I have felt ever since I first contacted them many moons ago. The first two clowns I spoke to didn’t understand the Queens English and managed to bastardise the information given and so shug@………. got turned into sheg@………, I’m surprised it wasn’t shag@………., which I may say I might start to use to see how folk react. As usual the Australian education system has let its youth down and has been unable to educate them in the ways of foreigners that speak in a far far better manner than they will ever do. E is for epple A is for…….fucked if I know……………..

You have a claim number but it only gives you false hope because you still have to run the gauntlet of incompetence to finally get through to someone that might be able to help you. You try calling from outside Australia and see how long it takes you to get to talk to a person and then when you finally get a real human your hopes are dashed into the abyss because they can’t speak English, only Australian. you will get more sense from a “chatbot” If there was a country that needed AI then this is it!!!!!!

Where is Skippy when you need him? He would have sorted this out in no time.

And so at this point I feel that my old tenants that started me on this path to frustration and damnation are having a right good laugh to themselves knowing that they have well and truly caused the landlord some grief, and may I just say………….” I hope their next shite is a hedgehog” and this also goes to all the folk at Westpac that have been of no use at all in this fiasco.

I wrote a complaint, as you do, through the secure portal on the Westpac website and they do something there that is pure genius and is something that I must congratulate them on. As you submit your lengthy letter, of which you can write 3000 words, the website will all of a sudden say “that we have detected no activity” and then times out and so you lose all you lovely words, I mean this is fuckin pure genius!. The guy that came up with this is a twisted individual and I take my hat off to him. Of course the way around this is to write your 3000 words on the computer and then copy and paste, but then who would know that this is what you do. But maybe the length of time the website refreshes itself is related to the drop down menu for complaint, suggestion or feedback…………………

Like all these necessary evils in life you need to have Insurance, you need to have this, you need to have that just in case something goes wrong and when it does you really need to have the stamina to pursue it and see it through to conclusion. I mean my case got finalised and I wasn’t even informed, these banks don’t give a fuck about you………..you’re just a number in a file somewhere and it’s very rare these days to come across someone in these institutions that can think for themselves, see the right for wrong and do the right thing to bring a resolution to the customer. These consultants are there to strip away everything but the wee piece of meat in the middle of the sandwich. Sorry you didn’t tick section B subsection 2A where it said that if you are blond then you need to stand on one leg and so it goes on. Even if you read and understand the fine print your still on the losing team.

And so now I want to scream and shout and shout at someone in Westpac but until we get subtitles enabled this will not happen…………………………

PS

the automated reply

Thank you for raising your concern with us.

We’ll be in contact with you as soon as possible. However, if you need to contact Westpac urgently, simply:  ( This is a new meaning of the word simply that I was unaware of.)
* Call us on 132 032 (8am-8pm, 7 days)
* Call + 61 2 9293 9270 (24 hours) if you’re overseas, or
* Visit your local Westpac branch (westpac.com.au/locateus).

We look forward to assisting you further.

Yours sincerely

Westpac Banking Corporation
Email: online@westpac.com.au