Going to the library, via the shopping centre is not one of my favourite things to do, going to the library however is.

There’s just too many people for starters, and as they amble and waddle along they just get in my way.

Mind you there is plenty to look at or should I say stare at. I often wonder why there are so many fat folk, surely it’s not all medical issues causing this and of course the answer is no! Many of those waddling along are refueling themselves even as I speak, maybe they’re worried they’ll waste away before the finish shopping and get back to the car.

Many are clutching oversize water bottles, no doubt filled with coke. Lycra is in high demand here and being stressed to the extreme. Moo moo’s are also common and all seem to come from the same shop, don’t think you can get then on Temu, but they do sell curtains.

Baggy shorts set at half mast, I guess to allow more air flow around the genitalia, well it is summer and the humidity is through the roof.

It’s not for the faint hearted coming to the shopping centre. You also have those annoying young people that haven’t had their enthusiasm beaten out of them yet trying to convince you to give your money to Greenpeace or the Polar Bears, when most folk here have barely enough money for essentials. A sign of the times, to quote Prince.

There is another fascinating tribe here and that one is the one that likes to use the skin as a canvas, to experiment and to proclaim to the world that “I am an individual!”

I wasn’t sure what I was looking at when the not so young guy on a scooter was coming towards me. He’s wearing shorts and T-shirt, all flesh has tattoos, but I struggled to focus on his head, it’s only when he got closer I realised that his neck below is scruffy beard is also tattooed along with his forehead, which leaves this strange looking area of pasty white flesh staring out on the world.

I don’t have any tattoos myself, and have no desire at the moment to get one. I don’t dislike them, however I’ve not seen many in my life that I think enhance the subject or that I think are good. The Yakuza take it to the extreme of course and they are amazing, the colours and complexity along with meaning is stunning.

But none of that here, most of what is on show pails into insignificance. I don’t think I saw any that enhanced the individuals look or made them look interesting or exotic, In my head I wanted to ridicule and at the same time curiosity would lend me to ask them, why? Why that?

I’ve often said that it seems that they all go to the same tattoo artist that is just learning his craft and only has a few designs under his/her belt, but then once on a rare occasion you are provided with an artistic work of art strategically placed which makes you stare and admire rather than be repulsed. I’m not against body art but I think that most people in the shopping centre that day were either drunk or smoking crack or maybe both when they paid a visit to the “Tattoo Artist” and just picked a random selection and plastered them all over their bodies.

There was one young lady that obviously has had an existential crisis because not only was every available peace of skin on show covered with mostly dark colours, but her nose was pierced with what looked like a gold dogs bone which could help with snot removal maybe. I’d be in a hell of a state if I got my nose pierced, most of the time the amount of snot my beak produces is quite unbelievable and to quote another pair of Icons…”Ren & Stimpy” who said that there was so much snot that you could surf the backwash………..

But I made it to the library and got my new book to read, which is another by Irvine Welsh….”The Long Knives” It’s the same characters from “Filth” but it is a lot easier to read although it gets off to a very gory start which I will not regale here, you can find out for yourself.

And I returned “Dead Men’s Trousers” which was a far easier read than “Filth” and I really enjoyed this one……..found myself at times reading till I was bleary eyed.

So the highlight of the trip by far was seeing the steam train going through the heart of the shopping centre, not everyday you are treated to this………..