Tis the Season to Be Jolly,
It’s cold outside; it’s still and white,
The stars abound and the moon is bright,
A UFO appears and streaks across the sky,
We are not alone, who is this guy?
His annual visit is upon us once more,
His work is tireless but he will just laugh and roar,
There is never too much work; there is never an end,
How can he deliver all these presents my friend?
Well he runs a very modern sleigh pulled by reindeer you say,
They are not normal of course but special indeed,
They feed on special grass which gives them more speed,
They’re as high as kites no matter the weather,
They can’t feel a thing just more pleasure and pleasure,
They’re here to help Santa on the one night of the year,
They park the sleigh on the roof as he nips doon the chimney for a beer,
So what happens if there is no chimney?
Do you think he might just climb in a windy?
Ah mean how does he do it? I’ve never worked it oot,
Our house had no chimney yet the pressies were there,
Sometimes there were many sometimes the tree was bare,
But it didn’t matter ‘cause that’s not what it’s about,
But I hear people say and I hear them shout,
That it’s Christmas and the kids should have plenty,
But all this seems to do is make them greedy and make their hearts empty,
The more they get, the less they appreciate,
The meaning is lost and the credit card is in deficit,
Too much is spent because we are told that we must,
The winner is the retail but the pressure will bust.
It’s a pagan festival after all high jacked by the Christians,
St Nick was used in as an example of tradition,
A poem in 1823 made the first reference to thee,
But it was Coca Cola that finally set you free,
They made you this big fat happy chappy,
With long flowing beard and hair to match,
Bright red clothes with a big red hat,
An invention of the commercial to make us drink coke,
But now we say he is Christmas, what a bloody joke,
Millions are fed a story of fake news,
But I don’t see many people condemning because the money is huge,
The almighty dollar is the truth and the reason,
Wrapped up in some pretty paper to appease even the heathen,
So we don’t mind celebrating Christmas because we know that it’s pagan,
And celebrates no more than a change in the season,
The days will get longer and we will be nice to our friends,
Hell we will even be nice to family although it makes you go round the bend,
We must enjoy ourselves, ‘cause it’s the season to be jolly,
But my friends I say that this could be a folly,
Although I do like the Christmas lights but that won’t make me believe,
I enjoy the Christmas carols but I’m not so naïve.
The shops are too busy and I only want to buy a loaf,
But instead I have to fight my way through all the oafs,
Panicking about how much they spent,
Panicking about what friend they missed,
I have to buy bigger ‘cause that’s what you do,
It’s not the thought that counts anymore,
Its’ the price tag or name,
Christmas could be so good but now it’s a shame.
You celebrate Christmas and this is your right,
Stop changing the language to suit the minority,
If the foreigners are not happy then they can grab the first flight,
You know you want to say it but no one will stand up and fight,
If the schools tradition is there from the first stone,
And you celebrate Christmas then carry on,
If your city or village is similar too,
Tell them all to bugger off and stick their head doon the loo.
But every year it gets bigger and bigger,
Although the rules change and I begin to snigger,
There are more gutless wonders that can’t make a decision,
Christ I feel that I’m on a bit of a mission.
We should say Merry Christmas and nothing else,
We should not be sensitive to other religions,
Sensitive to a poor ethnic that complains about tradition,
Well I say bugger off and shove your petition,
This is a Christian country and I am a heathen,
But I believe in tradition and culture,
And we must protect it because of the future and for the past,
We must be more proud of our heritage and help make it last,
We celebrate Christmas and that’s just fine,
But don’t ask me to enjoy it, but I will have some wine………….
Like this:
Like Loading...